swfchan: The History of Mario.swf (info)

Text

History of Mario is a fan-flash series about the
history of Super Mario characters (as well as many
others). Everything in this movie is interpreted,
meaning that more than half of this whole series is
going to be bullshit. Nintendo's story is most likely
completely different from this intepretation, but
Mario's history is fucked with anyway, so quit
bitching. Also, nobody plans on giving a shit if you
are unhappy with the result.

With contributions by
CoolBob before he
left this project.

Based on
characters by
Nintendo.

Once upon a fucking time, there were
two "Ice Climbers" who lived in a
wonderful house in the fields. They
loved to fuck all day.

Oh, I sure do
love to fuck.

FUCK ME, BITCH!

I have to brush my teeth!

A few minutes later...

FUCK! YOU GOT SEMEN ON MY
TOOTHBRUSH AGAIN!

Holy shit, this shit makes my teeth whi-

OH YEAH HARDER, you fucking
stupid son of a sexy bitch.

A few months later...

You're pregnant, Nana.

OH, FUCK.

Ah, oh well. Let's fuck.

UH, UH, UH.

WHAT THE FUCK?! Jesus fucking
Christ, not my table!

Oh well.

A few months later...

OH, FUCK. I THINK I'M
GIVING BIRTH!

No you're not, you lying bitch.
You're just a stupid whore.

FUCK.

Oh...it's a boy! What will we
name him?

Mario's Pizza, assholes.

I'LL SHOW YOU SOME
PIZZA, YOU FUCKING
DICKHEAD.

HOLY SHIT.

Later...

What the fuck? Why the fuck
did you do that, you fucking moron?

I was roommates with that guy.

That fucker stole my condoms.

Wait, I have an idea! If we name our son
the same name as the pizza guy...

....Then maybe no one will notice his death!

That doesn't make any sense, you stupid bitch.

But it works for me. Let's fuck.

Yes. Let's.

And never interrupt
our sex again, you
little shit.

One day later...

Mario, I think that hat you stole from the pizza guy
last night has shrunk in the washing machine.

Oh well, here you go.

Oh Popo, raising a baby is so hard.

I can try and it might work, but it's just so
complicated on me.....

Oh well. We must try. We must raise little Mario.

And we must not let anything get in the way of us
doing that.

Let's fuck.

Ok.

The months passed, Popo and Nana
fucked, and raised baby Mario...

Fuck...

I think I'm giving birth again.

Yeah right. Stupid b--

Fuck.

Wait...how'd the hat get on him?

You stuck that thing up my pussy during that
mutual masturbation shit last night.

Oh yeah.

Well, I suppose we can raise this one, too.

What should we name him?

Hold on. Some shitty show called Life With Luigi
will be on soon.

Luigi! What a great name!

Why the fuck are we giving our sons Italian
names? We're not Italian.

Shut the hell up and fuck me.

Ugh, can you tell those little
shits to shut the fuck up?

Shut the fuck up, you little shits.

Fuck you.

That's it...

Stork...we need to talk.

What the fuck do you want?
Fuck off, I don't want to have a
threesome with you two ever
again.

Anyway, our sons, Mario and
Luigi, are being pains in our
asses.

Yeah, since they're both stuck
in my ass right now.

It's very painful.

Oh fuck, I have to take a shit..

Ah, much better.

Yes, but they're also being
pains in our asses by
interrupting our sex. We're
really tired, and we want to
have more sex.

So we want you to take them to
live with new parents, our good
friends, Harry and Lily Mario.

Ok.

But, uh, first..can you pull
Mario out of my ass for me?

Fuck you.

So the stork was on his
way...

Shit.

To be continued....

replay

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