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nude_newscaster.swf

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Flash #92969

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PLAY

Gross Beached Thing

PlasmatiX

headline

FIRE EXIT

This is the set of Channel 12
headline news, the most watched
news broadcast in the world
Here you see Yvonna Taylor,
award-winning newscaster, doing
what she does best...

...and that's keeping the public
abreast of current events both
locally and around the world!
She's totally dedicated to this
job, and nothing will stop her
from doing it. We really mean it!

Tonight, you have a unique
opportunity to find out how a real
news program works. Yvonna has
kindly permitted us to have a look
around the studio while she's doing
the 11:00 report.

The only thing that she asks is that
you keep your grubby, sticky little
mitts off of the equipment. It's
expensive, delicate, and should
not be touched by ham-fisted
morons like yourself.

Is that alright with you?
Great! Let's get started on our
fabulous voyage of discovery!

too much sex on tv?

Let's look at a few of the features
that a modern television news studio
has to offer. First and foremost is
the monitor. The monitor is very
useful to show footage of the news
stories that are being covered.

In this case, the monitor is mounted
on a sophisticated gimble system
that allows it to be pivoted up and
down as needed. Just remember not
to touch it, as the balance has to
be just right for it to work.

The only thing that we ask is that
you keep your grubby, sticky little
mitts off of the equipment. It's
expensive, delicate, and should
not be touched by ham-fisted
morons like yourself.

chaos particles:
fact or fiction?

"troll" movie
tops box office

DEADLY
BEIGE
LAMP

Flash artist slacks
off on news graphics

oh,
no!

You idiot! Look at what you did!
You just destroyed a 5000.00
monitor! Not to mention Yvonna's
designer jacket is now ripped to
shreds! You have to be more
careful!

Now, you probably didn't really mean
to do that, and I know how attractive
shiny things are to people of lesser
intellect. But please, next time have
a care and keep your monkey-like
instincts under control.

Okay, now where were we? Oh, yes.
Now do you see the big orange
animated thing behind Ms. Taylor?
Yes, the thing with the big "12" on
it. Isn't it cool?

Well, contrary to the stories you
might have heard around the moon-
shine still at the trailer park, it's not
sorcery and witchcraft that puts that
animation back there. It's a tech-
nique we call "blue screening".

I know what you're thinking: "I'm an
inbred hillbilly and even I can see
that that screen is orange." But what
you don't know is that the screen
IS blue, but the blue is replaced
by what's called a "computer"...

A computer? A computer is a mach-
ine that's a hundred times more
sophisticated than that Camaro that's
up on blocks in your front yard, let's
put it that way.

Feel free to have a look, but
remember, the bluescreen is also
quite fragile and the peanut butter
on your hands would probably put
grease stains on it, so hands off.

Sigh...

Did I or did I not tell you to not to
touch the backdrop? Can you even
remember two seconds ago? I just
cannot believe this.

However, let's take this opportunity
to look at Ms. Taylor: Even though
you have done everything humanly
possible to disrupt her, she is STILL
undistracted from her job. That, my
fine hairy friends, is a professional.

Now, over here we have a standard
piece of equipment that you might
have seen at the liquor store.
It's called a "fax machine".

It's kind of like a phone, but instead
of words, it sends messages on paper.

Yes. Pay-Per...like your government
checks are printed on, you bum.
Anyway this machine is useful to
Ms. Taylor for getting late breaking
news stories. I, of course, needn't add
that you shouldn't touch it.

Well, I hope you're happy now. Just
LOOK at what you've done! Now
Yvonna has to finish the news
without her shirt.

The press will have a field day with
this. Yvonna Taylor is a respected
person in the community.
She has an IMAGE to maintain!

Now, just you keep that in mind as
we continue our demonstration.

Now let's use this as an opportunity
to learn. (or at least to become less
ignorant) Now that Yvonna doesn't
have a SHIRT anymore, do you see
that black thing around her neck?

That's called a microphone. It records
Yvonna's voice and sends it out to
millions of idiots like yourself who
can't understand a word of it because
it requires more than a kindergarten
education.

This is a special radio microphone.
That means that it doesn't need to
plug into anything to work.
The transmitter is clipped to
Yvonna's skirt.

Right now, of course, you can't
see the transmitter because
Yvonna's desk is in the...

...way.

I suppose you think that's funny.

Well, if that is what passes for humor
in our fine nation, then I am very
worried indeed.
Ah, but once again Yvonna has
shown poise and professionalism.

Well, let's have a closer look at
that transmitter anyway...

It's battery operated, and has a range
of up to 500 meters. It weighs
about ten ounces, which is good
because it's clipped securely to
Yvonna's skirt.

You still might have a little trouble
seeing it, as it's right behind
Yvonna's arm, but don't worry.
Afterwards, you can have a closer
look at...

This is getting ridiculous.
Really now, you couldn't wait a few
minutes before Yvonna was off air
before you had a look at the trans-
mitter. Now look what's happened:

Yvonna is in her underwear on
national television. Millions of people
are now looking at her in her lacy
unmentionables. It's a dark day for
television journalism.

This would rattle a lesser newscaster,
but not Yvonna Taylor. She's still
cool and collected and uhhh...

Yvonna?

--Yvonna?

YVONNA!!!

Now that everything is under control
again, let's carry on. If you look at
the back of the room. Can you see a
big red door?

You CAN? Oh, you're very clever!
That door is called a fire exit. That's
where, if the building were to catch
fire, everyone (except possibly you)
would go to escape.

Why don't you go over and have a
look? Hopefully, it'll keep you out
of trouble for two seconds.

Well. That certainly was
different.

And now everyone in the world can
see Yvonna Taylor's ta-tas.

And it looks like you broke her
brain, too. That's perfect.

Do you have the SLIGHTEST clue
what you've done? This woman is
a pillar of the community! She's
respected in every corner of the
world! She is NOT supposed to
be topless, EVER!

She wears a sweater to the beach!
She showers in a laser-proof titanium
bunker! And now, thanks to you,
she looks like she should be working
the pole at some Montreal strip club!

Good. It looks like Yvonna's going
to be able to finish off the news
after all. Even though she'll be a
laughingstock for the rest of her
carreer, the news must go on.

With that, while  Yvonna still has
a shred of dignity we'll conclude
this tour of the Headline 12 news
studio, hopefully you've found this
educational and...

What's that Canadian money doing
stuck in Yvonna's thong?

Just because I say something about
Montreal strip clubs, does not
automatically make this a Montreal
strip club. Pay attention next time!

I'm sure that in your own man child
way you thought you were helping
somehow, but Yvonna Taylor is not
some  two-bit Canuck lap dancer.
Just wait here for a second while I
get that money out of there.

Technically, that was your fault.

And this brings to an end our little
tour of the Headline 12 News Studio.
We hope you've enjoyed your time
with us and that you've taken some-
thing away with you.

Besides Yvonna Taylor's reputation.

And the dignity of Television news
in general.

Now get the hell out before we have
your knees broken.

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Instance Names

"bar"Symbol 19 MovieClip Frame 1Symbol 12 MovieClip

Labels

"loaded"Symbol 19 MovieClip Frame 3




http://swfchan.com/19/92969/info.shtml
Created: 27/3 -2019 04:41:26 Last modified: 27/3 -2019 04:41:26 Server time: 27/11 -2020 18:53:23