swfchan: starterupsteve-com-suxor2.swf (info)

Text

WARNING:

This film is intended for mature audiences only. Any viewers under the age of 18 are
asked to not tell anyone they watched this, especially their parents. This film contains
scenes of graphic violence, coarse language and Jenna Jameson. This film is based purely
on fiction, and any resemblence to actual events is a fluke. If you are offended by this
message, you're a dork. If you wish to complain about this message, you're a dork.
Feel free to send all complaints to: complaints@asheronscall.com
Make sure you swear a lot.

No-Effort Online
presents

A Chris Coutts
Film

In Association with
Fury Inc.

Chris Coutts
Presents

Chris Coutts

Jenna Jameson

What Does Suxor mean 2

Mister Bojangles

Charlton heston

LECOEUR
a fire hydrant
A BASTARD

Casting By
kevin nelson

Jenna Jameson "casting" by
chris coutts

screenplay by
chris coutts

screen doors by
Thompson doors & windows ltd.

opening sequence by
david fincher

stealing fincher's opening sequence by
chris coutts

pepsi provided by
pepsi

art by
chris coutts

cool special effects made by
accident

sound effects by
a canadian moose

art by
...wait, already did this one

stunts by
a guy who sold me a hot dog

director of photography
Stevie wonder

soundtrack available on
no-effort records

written by
chris coutts

produced by
chris coutts

this spot reserved for everyone
who asked me to put them in the movie

directed by
chris coutts

Mount Qomolangma

May 15, 2001...

I've located the mystical temple of "Itpo"

It is said this is the holiest place in this holy universe.

I'm going in. Agent Hooters moving in!

Well I'll be a horse's ass.

Agent Hooters...

It has been a long time, Chris.

Has it? Time flies when you're a monk...

Chris, it's time for you to come home.

My home is here...

Why Chris!? Why did you give up everything you had!?

You saved the world, and you got poonani in the process!

What has made you this way...?

I'm here pondering my thoughts...

What is the meaning of life?

What kind of name is Gilligan?

Who is the waitress?

I can't go back, Hooters. I just can't.

You're not the Chris I once knew...

That Chris is gone, Hooters...

Is there anything that could bring him back...?

There is... but you must search deep into your soul for the answer...

A blowjob?

...lucky guess.

May 16, 2001
3:54 PM
JFK Airport, New York

Chris... Can I ask you something?

No, you didn't bite hard this time.

No, not that. Something else.

Oh, sure. What's up?

When you... killed Cosby...

You're sure you killed him, right?

Of course!

Otherwise this sequel would suck.

I didn't come to here just to suck you off, Chris.

I get a handjob too!?

No, Chris. I came here because... it's not over.

Great googly moogly...

When did this come about?

About a week ago.

2 are dead from massive head explosions.

And you're sure it's...

Positive.

We should get right on it...

Oh Chris! You're so responsible and sexy!

I know.

Before we get down to work, Chris...

...let's play.

Shit! I left my G.I. Joe's back in Hong Kong!

Oh, Chris! You're so funny!

I doubt Sgt. Slaughter thinks the same thing...

C'mon, Chris...

My condo's only a 10 minute drive from here.

You had me at "hello", Hooters.

May 16, 2001
4:42 PM
Agent Hooters Condominium

I'm just going to change into something more... comfortable.

Ok.

Now no peeking, Chris!

w00t.

...fux0r.

Agent Hooters...?

BOOBS

Hooters! Answer me!

HOOTERS!!!

Hooters...

Chris... You must stop him...

Who Hooters!?

If... I told you...

This sequel... would...

SUXOR

! WANKING INTERMISSION !

Hello?

The most valuable thing to married men across
the nation is no more, sir.

Job security?

No, Agent Hooters.

Oh! Excellent... and Mister Coutts?

He was nowhere in sight.

Fiddlesticks! You realize this is not good.

Yes sir.

Hooters probably told him everything he needed to know...

It can be dealt with, sir.

You are correct! Mister Coutts must not stop us.

Agreed, sir.

The missile is set and will launch in 2 days... You know that, right?

Mister Coutts must not find out about it, otherwise we're fux0r'd.

Your mission's done. Head back to base, old friend.

Yes sir!

And pick up some milk on your way!

1% or 2%?

Golly gee, I don't know. Surprise me!

Chris Coutts

Special Agent

Coutts

It's good to be back in the old office.

I miss Hooters...

Speaker on.

Chris! Lecoeur here!

Lecoeur! Good to hear your voice again.

This is no time for hello's, old friend.

I'm sorry about Hooters...

I know how much you cared for them... I mean, her.

I'm really hungry.

Food must wait!

I've got something for you.

Take a look at the video screen.

After you killed Cosby and he was being carried to the morgue, something disastorous happened.

With his last ounce of strength, Cosby did what we all feared he'd do.

He released the Power of Suxor on the world in the form of a fart.

Since that day, it has lurked around the world, striking at any time.

A week ago, things took a turn for the worse.

A terrorist captured the Suxor Fart, and has claimed to contain it in a missile.

In one day, the missile will launch, and it will literally fux0r the world.

Your mission is to find that missile!

If not, the world will be destroyed!

Oh, and by the way...

We got a report the other day...

Apparently a large missile has been rented from Missiles 'R Us.

But here's the strange part...

It has a gas container in it.

Might want to look into it. Good luck.

Ooo! Lookit me! I'm Lecouer and I found a missile report!

Pardon me while I go prove why Chris is a loser! La la la.

Sumbitch, I'll handle this my way...

Do you have the missile?

What...?

Don't play games with me, boy.

No?

Give me the missile, you little bastard.

Hiya mister!

Don't make me tell Mom.

Do you wanna lick my lollipop?

Jesus Christ!

Teehee! Yer funny mister!

Game's over, Ethel. Give me the missile.

Go suck an egg, fatboy.

Your crass comments will do you no good!

You smell like penis.

Mister Bojangles, your plan is foiled.

Tightlipped, huh? Well I'll make you talk.

Your swooning puking noises have no effect!

Resistance is futile.

I'm going to count to three...

And if you don't tell me where you're hiding the missile...

You're dead.

One.

Two.

Two and a half.

Two and three quarters.

THREE!

Ok! I'll talk!

I knew you'd crack...

Where's the missile!?

I don't know!

You better think harder...

Ok, ok!

I heard the Stop sign mutter something about Moses.

Talk to him, and he'll help you!

Much obliged...

DUDE WTF!

Moses...

My son...

Good Moses... What are you doing today?

The same thing I do everyday, my son.

And what is that?

Await the announcement of a Ten Commandments sequel!

I come seeking your help, Moses.

I know... I could sense it.

Then you know of the missile?

Indeed. There is little time.

I know, and I don't know where to begin.

This man you seek is a foe to me as well...

I can not tell you who he is...

I can only tell you how to defeat him.

Tease me no more!

Take this...

Use it with your Discman of Fury, and he shall fall.

Thanks dude.

Seek The Waitress, Chris. She will guide you to him.

Where do I begin...?

No more Information for you! You go now!

Thanks again.

Before you go... Would you like some potato pancakes?

I'd love some.

FAY'S

Diner - Bar - Brothel

I'm looking for the waitress.

She's not here. Whattya want.

I'm supposed to be guided, goddamnit!

To what?

The arch-nemesis'!

Next door, ya wanker.

WHAT DOES SUXOR MEAN 2 ARCH-NEMESIS' BASE

(No Chris' allowed... please).

Shit on me.

How can I help you?

Unicef.

The world needs more people like you.

If you'd like to sponser a child, please call 338-SAVE.

What the...!

Hey! You're not from Unicef!

I'm coming for you, arch-nemesis 2.

Missile! Power off!

MISSILE STATUS:

It's good to be a slacker...

Arch-Nemesis #2!
Please don't try to kill him!

Mister Coutts, you finally made it!

Jesus Christ... Why!?

If you believe in me, you deserve to get destroyed!

That doesn't make sense! People need you!

Yeah, but where's the fun in being a good guy?

Now, you must be punished for stopping my missile!

Give me your worse...

Oi vay...

0wn3d by Jesus...

Use the CD, you silly wanker!

wtf

Didn't you read the sign!?

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!

I r0x0r j00, n00berz.

Jesus is dead and suxor's been stopped once again...

...and the world has you to thank, Chris.

Good job, Chris. Lecoeur out.

Waiter!

Choices, choices...

What would you recommend, waiter?

...Waiter...?

A CHRIS COUTTS FILM
Starring:
Chris Coutts
Jenna Jameson
Charlton Hestion
Lecoeur
and you!
Art by Chris Coutts
Animation by Chris Coutts
Sound effects:
Counter-Strike
Day of Defeat
partnersinrhyme.com
Action Half-Life
Samples from:
The Ten Commandments
www.jenna-jameson.com
Action Half-Life
Soundtrack:
The Dust Brothers - Stealing Fat
Azur Habib - Hatt Baby
Marvin Gaye - Let's Get It On
Massive Attack - Angel
Theme to The Benny Hill Show
Klint - Are You There?
Nine Inch Nails - Deep
Trinity College Choir - Ave Verum Corpus
Enigma - The Eyes of Truth
Oasis - Fucking in the Bushes
Mormon Tabarnacle Choir - Hallelujah
Cannibal Corpse - Stripped, Raped and Strangled
Massive Attack - Dissolved Girl
Sound effects/music editing by Chris Coutts
Concept by Chris Coutts
Produced by Chris Coutts
Directed by Chris Coutts
ICQ: 8828603
E-Mail: filter_method@hotmail.com
MSN: Americanized Prosthetic Killer
AOL: Slacking4Life
"What Does Suxor Mean 2"
Copyright 2001
www.angelfire.com/indie/christx/movies.html
www.no-effort.50megs.com

ActionScript [AS1/AS2]

Frame 1
	ifFrameLoaded (10000) {
		play();
	}

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Symbol 333 Sound	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 336 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 337 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 343 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 350 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 354 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 355 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 356 Bitmap	Used by:357
Symbol 357 Graphic	Uses:356	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 358 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 359 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 360 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 361 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 362 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 363 Sound	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 365 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 366 Sound	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 369 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 373 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 375 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 377 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 379 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 381 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 383 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 385 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 387 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 388 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 389 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 390 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 391 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 392 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 393 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 394 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 395 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 396 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 397 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 398 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 399 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 400 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 401 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 402 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 403 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 404 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 408 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 409 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 410 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 411 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 412 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 413 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 414 Bitmap	Used by:415 419 423 427 431 440 449 453 457 580
Symbol 415 Graphic	Uses:414	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 416 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 417 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 418 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 419 Graphic	Uses:414	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 420 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 421 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 422 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 423 Graphic	Uses:414	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 424 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 425 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 426 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 427 Graphic	Uses:414	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 428 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 429 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 430 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 431 Graphic	Uses:414	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 432 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 433 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 434 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 435 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 436 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 437 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 439 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 440 Graphic	Uses:414	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 441 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 442 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 444 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 445 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 446 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 447 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 448 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 449 Graphic	Uses:414	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 450 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 451 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 452 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 453 Graphic	Uses:414	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 454 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 455 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 456 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 457 Graphic	Uses:414	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 458 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 459 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 460 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 461 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 462 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 463 Font	Used by:464 465
Symbol 464 Text	Uses:463	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 465 Text	Uses:463	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 466 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 467 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 468 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 469 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 470 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 471 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 473 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 475 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 477 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 478 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 479 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 480 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 481 Text	Uses:67	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 482 Font	Used by:483
Symbol 483 Text	Uses:482	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 484 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 485 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 486 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 488 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 489 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 490 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 492 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 493 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 494 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 495 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 496 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 497 Bitmap	Used by:498 499
Symbol 498 Graphic	Uses:497	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 499 Graphic	Uses:497	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 500 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 501 Bitmap	Used by:502
Symbol 502 Graphic	Uses:501	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 503 Bitmap	Used by:504 518
Symbol 504 Graphic	Uses:503	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 505 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 506 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 507 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 508 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 509 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 510 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 514 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 515 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 516 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 517 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 518 Graphic	Uses:503	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 520 Sound	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 522 Sound	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 526 Sound	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 534 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 535 Graphic	Uses:320	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 536 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 537 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 538 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 539 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 540 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 541 Text	Uses:1	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 543 Text	Uses:1	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 544 Graphic	Uses:320	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 545 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 546 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 547 Text	Uses:109	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 548 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 549 Graphic	Uses:320	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 550 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 551 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 552 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 553 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 554 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 555 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 556 Graphic	Uses:320	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 557 Graphic	Uses:320	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 558 Graphic	Uses:320	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 559 Graphic	Uses:320	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 560 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 561 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 562 Graphic	Uses:320	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 563 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 564 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 565 Graphic	Uses:320	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 566 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 567 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 568 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 569 Graphic	Uses:320	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 570 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 571 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 573 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 574 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 575 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 576 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 577 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 578 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 579 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 580 Graphic	Uses:414	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 581 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 582 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 583 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 584 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 585 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 586 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 587 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 588 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 589 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 590 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 593 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 594 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 595 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 596 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 597 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 598 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 599 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 600 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 601 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 602 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 604 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 605 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 606 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 607 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 608 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 609 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 610 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 611 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 612 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 613 Graphic	Uses:320	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 614 Text	Uses:72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 615 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 616 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 617 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 618 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 619 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 620 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 621 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 622 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 623 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 624 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 625 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 626 Text	Uses:407 72	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 627 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 628 Text	Uses:72 407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 629 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 630 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 631 Sound	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 632 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 633 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 634 Graphic	Uses:291	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 635 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 636 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 637 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 638 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 639 Text	Uses:407	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 640 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 641 Graphic	Used by:Timeline
Symbol 642 Font	Used by:643
Symbol 643 Text	Uses:642	Used by:Timeline

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Timeline Frame 1

31 bytes "..$1$.e$3cplTHfZcBmWKblkqYPxs0."