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Horoscope_for_Today.swf

This is the info page for
Flash #16726

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Text
Your Horoscope For Today
Weird Al Yankovic
Animated by Terry Torres
Hypermedia One
NVRHS

Your Horoscope For Today

Weird Al Yankovic

AQUARIUS!

There's travel

in your future

when your tongue

freezes to the

back of a speeding bus

Fill that void

in your

pathetic

life

by playing

Whack

-A-

Mole

17 hours a day

PI

SCES!

Try to

avoid any

Virgos

or

Leos

With the

EBOLA VIRUS

You

are

the

true

LORD OF THE DANCE

No matter what

those

IDIOTS

at work say

ARIES!

The

look

on

your

face

will be priceless

when you

find that

40 pound watermelon

in your

colon

Trade tooth brushes

with an

ALBINO

dwarf

Then give a

hickey

to

Meryl

Streep

TAURUS!

You will

never

find

true happiness

Whatcha

gonna

do

CRY

about it?

The stars predict

tomorrow

you'll wake up

do a bunch of

stuff

and

then

go

back

sleep

THAT'S

YOUR

HOROSCOPE

FOR

TODAY

ay

GEMINI!

Your birthday party

will be ruined

once again

explosive

by your

flatulence

Your love life will

run

into trouble

When your

fiance

hurls a

javelin

through your chest

CANCER!

The position of

Jupiter

says

that you should

spend the rest of the week

face down

in

mud

Try not to shove

a roll of

duct tape

up your

nose

While taking

driver's test

LEO!

Now is not a good time

to photocopy your

butt

and staple it to your

boss' face

OH

NO!

Eat a

bu

ck

et

of

tuna-flavored

pudding

and

wash it down

with a gallon of

strawberry Quik

GO!

VIR

All Virgos are extemely

friendly

intelligent

except

for

Expect a

big

surpise today

wind up

with your

head

impaled upon a

s

t

i

c

k

Now

you

may

it

inconceivable

at

very

least

a

bit

unlikely

that

relative

position

planets

stars

could

have

special

deep

significance

meaning

exclusively

applies

only

But

let

me

give

my

assurance

these

forecasts

predictions

all

based

(your)

solid

scientific

documented

evidence

so

would

be

some

kind

moron

not

realize

every

single

one

them

is

absolutely

WHERE

WAS

I?

LIBRA!

A

promotion

just around

the co

rner

someone

much more

talented

than

Laughter

best

medicine

Remember that when

your appendix

bursts

next week

SCORPIO!

Get ready

for an

unexpected trip

fall

screaming

from an

open window

Work

little bit

harder

on improving

low self-esteem

stupid

freak

SAGITTARIUS!

All

friends

laughing

behind

KILL THEM

Take down

all those

naked pictures

Ernest Borgnine

You've got

hanging

den

CAPRICORN!

you're

an

exciting

wonderful

person

know

they're

lying

If I were you

I'd

lo

doors

windows

leave my house

again

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Created: 1/6 -2019 14:45:43 Last modified: 1/6 -2019 14:45:43 Server time: 08/05 -2024 10:00:43