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becomerepublican.swf

This is the info page for
Flash #18325

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BECOME REPUBLICAN

BRIAN FRISK

SHOK

THANKS TO

WRITTEN & DRAWN BY

MUSIC BY

JOSH PHILLIPSON
& PAUL CLOUTIER

START

CLICK TO

START

CLICK TO

BUSH

YEARS!

4 MORE

SICK OF LOSING ELECTIONS?

BORED WITH HONESTY
& COMMON SENSE?

FEEL LIKE AMERICA
HAS LOST ITS MIND?

DEPRESSED...

Don't Become

Our landslide victory of over 1%
proves that the Democrats are done
for! Why suffer the disappointment
of voting your conscience? Join the
party you can trust to cheat,
manipulate, redistrict, sue, lie and
force its way to triumph every time!

You Can't Beat Us...

SO JOIN THE PARTY!

SWITCH TO

THE WINNER!

T

R

A

S

HELP DESTROY
THE WORLD!

MIX IGNORANCE
AND ARROGANCE!

GET EXCITED ABOUT
GUN RIGHTS!

DEFEND FREEDOM BY
LOSING YOUR OWN!

VOTE AGAINST YOUR
SELF INTERESTS!

GET ALL UPPITY!

T

X

E

N

10

END

9

8

END

6

5

7

4

3

2

1

I

G

A

Got a problem?
Talk to the gun.

Class warfare
is treason.

It's not illegal if you
shred the evidence.

Jesus loves you and
he's going to kill you.

I'll kick every Liberal's
big faggoty ass!

Damn you Roosevelt!
No Turnip Tax!

Terrorists just
hate freedom.

The meek shall
inherit my wrath.

REDNECK

RICH

WANNA-BE RICH

RELIGIOUS

TOUGH GUY

OLD

SHEEP

EVIL

DECIDE WHICH KIND OF REPUBLICAN YOU WANT TO BE

THE 8 KINDS OF REPUBLICANS

1

CREATING A BETTER YOU.

WALMART

XXX

HISTORY

WAR

FUX

NEWS

TEA

DRUGS

SANDALS

PORNOS

SOCCER

BALL

BUTTONS

IMPORTED

BEER

BODY

PIERCINGS

TOFU

PROTEST

SIGNS

BOOKS

TEXT

V-CHIP TV

CIGARETTES

RIFLE

KIDS

COWBOY

HAT

GUN

BIBLE

MEAT

BUTT-LOAD

OF FLAGS

FOOTBALL

TALK RADIO

Get rid of your old Liberal junk.

Buy new Republican things .

TRASH YOUR STASH!

BUILD A REPUBLI-KIT

STOCKING UP

2

OUT WITH THE OLD & IN WITH THE GOLD.

$

4. LOVE TO HATE

2. ACCEPT CHRIST AS YOUR
OWN PERSONAL WEAPON

2. FOLLOW THE HERD

1. BE REALLY REALLY REALLY PATRIOTIC

COMPASSIONATE

CONSERVATIVE

THE

Don't worry. You don't have to be
compassionate or conservative. Just
follow these four easy rules...

Drop the J Bomb! Remember that the
more you talk about Jesus, the less you
need to act like him.

Wave your flag, love your leaders and call
anyone who tries to question, criticize or
change our government a filthy traitor. If
Liberals loved America, they would stop
trying to fix it and start trusting it blindly.

Stop thinking so much. You've got talk radio to
think for you. Right-wing pundits are your new
brain. Their biased opinions are your new
unquestioned facts. The louder they shout it, the
truer it probably is.

Become a racist, bigot, sexist or xenophobe! Pick
which prejudice is right for you. Make sure you
hate gays & the French, but the rest is up to you!

HOW TO ACT REPUBLICAN

3

CLOSE YOUR EYES. PLUG YOUR EARS. OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

BLASPHEMY

CORRUPT

POLITICIANS

RACISM

POVERTY

WAR

VIOLENCE

ON TV

THE

LIBERAL

MEDIA

SEX

ABORTION

GAY MARRIAGE

EVOLUTION

THEORY

BUSH-BASHERS

FLIP-FLOPPING

GAY POLITICIANS

BAD WORDS

OUTSPOKEN

HOLLYWOOD

LIBERALS

MARIJUANA

WHO CARES?

ANNOYED

OFFENDED

DISGUSTED

OUTRAGED

LYNCH MOB

GREED

FRANCE

Never stop looking for reasons to get upset.
When you find one, don’t forget to blow it
out of proportion. Blame the offender for the
decline of society, and if possible, for
corrupting the innocence of youth.

FAKING ANGER TO GET YOUR WAY

OUTRAGE!

4

THE MORALITY THERMOMETER

LIBERAL LIES:

EDUCATED RESPONSE:

Traitor!

REMEMBER!

IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING RIGHT.
IT'S ABOUT WINNING.

IF YOU'RE STUCK,
CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

TWIST FACTS & QUOTE
OUT OF CONTEXT.

NEVER, EVER, EVER
ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG.

REMEMBER THAT THEY'RE
GOING TO HELL & YOU'RE NOT.

They turned a surplus into a deficit

The Tax cuts clearly benefit the wealthy

The 2000 election was a sham

I don't hate America

You hate America!

It's Clinton's Fault!

Stop Hating America!

We rushed to war on false pretenses

The constitution isn't a political tool

The Clean Air Act raises pollution levels

There is no link between Iraq and Al Qaeda

You Hate, Hate, Hate America!

Flip-flopper!

LABEL THE TRUTH AS 'SPIN' &
CREATE SPIN TO LABEL 'TRUTH'

America Hater!

Read the Bible!

HOW TO YELL AT A LIBERAL

5

ARGUING WITHOUT LISTENING

JOHN

3:16

J

C

#1

The

HOLY

BIBLE

2. GAYS & ABORTIONS
ARE VERY BAD

3. JESUS IS GOOD

1. SEX IS BAD

!

N

A

C

I

L

B

U

P

E

R

Always take the Bible literally. Except
for any parts about charity, kindness,
humility, honesty, staying kosher,
greed, gluttony, anger, etc.

As a Republican, you must love, worship
and ignore Jesus. As long as you accept
and praise him as the savior, then it
doesn't really matter whether you listen to
what he says.

The Bible is a book of ancient wisdom and
sacred knowledge. Yep, it's a downer. But
lucky for you, as a Republican, you only
need to know three things...

JESUS

THE

FAN CLUB

THE BIBLE: OPTIONAL PARTS

Oh Man! I made gluttony a
sin?! What was I smoking?

Hey, ya jerks!
I'm dying for
your sins here!
The least you
could do is put a
bumper sticker
on your car!

Oh, and also
please feel guilty
for the rest of
your life, or I'll
mess you up
after you die.

Seriously.

MAGICALLY RELIGIOUS

6

THE PASSION OF THE RIGHT.

SEXY

SADIST

No Blood for Oil!

The President Lied!

You Can't Force Democracy!

BUT

We're not after oil. We simply want
economic and military dominance of
the middle east. We'll get their oil later.

That's just Liberal Spin! Iraq has
welcomed us warmly. Especially
the insurgents. In their culture,
blowing someone up is
considered a compliment.

Stop exploiting this good man's
honest mistakes, failures and
deceptions for petty political
reasons. It's treason to criticize the
president in a time of crisis!
Unless he's a Democrat, in which
case the slimebag deserves it.

Thanks to us, your children will never know the
horror of living in a time of peace. The War On
Terror never kills an enemy without breeding a
new one! So relax. We'll have plenty of terrorists
to keep you scared and easily manipulated for a
long, long time.

WITH

WHAT'S WRONG

WAR?!

We now have the moral grounds to do anything
at all in the name of 'Defending Freedom', &
anyone who complains is clearly an America-
Hating traitor. We are now the victim. And in
spite of our wealth & power, we will stay the
victim until we've taught every country on Earth
who its daddy is!

WHAT IF WE RUN OUT OF TERRORISTS?

9/11 - OUR GOLDEN TICKET

The Liberal media demonizes war into a
baby-killing catastrophe. But war's not
just about dead babies...

BUT THE LOOPY LIBERALS SAY:

IT'S ABOUT DISTRACTING YOU
FROM PROBLEMS IN THE USA!

WONDERFUL WAR

7

THE FINAL SOLUTION TO PEACE.

For a century, corporations have
suffered under the cruel hammer of
capitalism, struggling to lobby
congressmen, barely able to form
monopolies, and pinching pennies to
open sweatshops. The tyrant forces
of the Labor Movement have nearly
crushed them by cruelly demanding
weekends, stopping child labor and
forcing a minimum wage.

We believe in taking power away
from the government, and giving
that power to giant corporations.
When free to do as they please,
corporations can always be trusted
to treat their workers, customers &
the environment with the selfless
kindness they are known for.

SAVING PRIVATE SECTOR

RUNAWAY GOVERNMENT

When businesses compete, it
hurts us all. When they merge
and monopolize, they can raise
prices freely, and you don't have
the burdens of excessive choices
or quality.

We love hardworking American
families, and we pledge to keep
you working harder and harder.
We see a day, when your whole
family will get to work 12 hour
days, 7 days a week, for almost
enough money to live on. You'll
finally be free to live like a slave.

If corporations had to write a
check to everyone they poisoned,
cheated, lied to, maimed, killed
and mistreated, then they would
be unfairly forced to change their
ways. And that's un-American.

LET THEM MERGE...

MOTIVATE WORKERS...

HOW CAN WE HELP THESE OPPRESSED CORPORATIONS?

STOP LAWSUITS...

CORPORATIONS

8

VICTIMS OF CAPITALISM.

TAX

$

HEALTH

CARE

WELFARE


WAR

We don't "tax & spend" like
Liberals. Our system is "spend &
spend" and let someone else figure
out how to pay for it. Maybe our
children, or a Democrat who we can
then call a "Tax & Spend Liberal".

We can't be spending money on
wussy, boring crap like health
care. We've got wars to fight!
Would you rather have a million
stupid mammograms or one
kick-ass tomahawk missile?

Those Welfare Fat Cats are living
the good life while the struggling
upper class foots the bill . Their
greed even drives some of them to
work multiple jobs while we're
lucky if we get one! Let's boot this
subsidized aristocracy into the
gutter where it belongs!

ATTACKING TAXES

SICK OF HEALTH CARE

FAREWELL WELFARE

SMALLER GOVERNMENT

Religion should NOT be a part of the government.
Religion should be IN CONTROL of the government.
We have always been "one nation under God" ever
since that was added to our pledge in the 1954.

CHURCH & STATE: A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN

Thanks to your trust, fear and ignorance, our nation
is no longer a safe haven for terrorists, killers,
activists, Muslims, environmentalists, pot-heads,
idealists, teachers, writers, readers or thinkers.

THE CONSTITUTION: A STATE OF DECAY

The US Constitution is dangerously out-dated, and in
desperate need of 'renovation'.  If we repair the
constitution, then we can define marriage, allow foreign
presidents and stop free speech before its too late.

THE POLICE STATE: TURN ON THE RED LIGHTS


BIGGER GOVERNMENT

We like small government in ways that help people in need. But we
demand huge government in the ways that control peoples' lives.

THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING GOVERNMENT

9

AND THE BIGGER GOVERNMENT THAT WILL TAKE ITS PLACE

Forests are dangerous places where wolves
attack girls heading to grandma's house and
vicious teddy bears have picnics. Forests
are much better off without trees, according
to a new study by the best scientists in the
Lumber Industry.

Animals belong at a zoo, in your
closet or on your plate. If you want
to see nature as a majestic Circle of
Life, just order a meat-lover's pizza.

Does the air seem a little smoky? It's
probably nothing more than billions
of toxic particles. Think of it as
inhaling a T-Bone steak with every
breath! Smog. It's what's for dinner.

Yes, there's arsenic in your tap water.
But there is no proof that it can hurt
you... Because we took the bold step &
decided not to investigate it. What we
don't know,  can't poison our children!

THE NEW VITAMIN A

ANIMAL HARM

HUG TREES GOODBYE

Egghead scientists have stood in the way of
progress for years, griping about every little oil
spill or nuclear meltdown. Well, we've replaced
those Harvard blowhards with energy industry
shills who aren't afraid to tell us that everything
is A ­ Okay! They have "real world experience"
making millions for the companies they're now
regulating, and will get jobs at after they quit.

POLLUTION: PROOF OF PROGRESS

ARMAGEDDON IS COMING, SO WHO CARES?

THE ENVIRONMENT

10

YOU'LL NEVER MISS IT.

OK

NAME

EMAIL

TO:

CONVERT    FRIEND

a

Launching Email
Program...

SEND

MORE

SEND

MORE

ONCE YOU'VE CLICKED "SEND"
IN YOUR EMAIL PROGRAM.

EMAIL SENT

Congratulations! You are now officially
"married" to the Republican Party.  Next
comes the honeymoon, so please bend over...

YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET SCREWED!

HERE COMES THE LOVE!

HA!

CONGRATULATIONS!

YOUR SOUL IS OURS.

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Symbol 172 MovieClipUses:133 134 136 137 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 77 166 167 135 140 171Used by:Timeline
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Symbol 174 GraphicUsed by:177
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Symbol 176 GraphicUsed by:177
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Symbol 182 GraphicUsed by:Timeline
Symbol 183 GraphicUsed by:566  Timeline
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Symbol 256 GraphicUsed by:Timeline
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Symbol 515 GraphicUsed by:542
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Symbol 517 TextUses:68Used by:519
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Symbol 545 TextUses:11Used by:569
Symbol 546 GraphicUsed by:569
Symbol 547 GraphicUsed by:569
Symbol 548 GraphicUsed by:550 569
Symbol 549 GraphicUsed by:569
Symbol 550 MovieClipUses:82 83 66 49 72 548 511 513 85 84Used by:568 569
Symbol 551 GraphicUsed by:569
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Symbol 553 GraphicUsed by:569
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Symbol 555 GraphicUsed by:560
Symbol 556 GraphicUsed by:560
Symbol 557 GraphicUsed by:560
Symbol 558 GraphicUsed by:560
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Symbol 561 MovieClipUses:498 499Used by:569
Symbol 562 GraphicUsed by:564
Symbol 563 GraphicUsed by:564
Symbol 564 MovieClipUses:500 502 503 562 563Used by:569
Symbol 565 TextUses:68Used by:566
Symbol 566 MovieClipUses:181 183 565Used by:567
Symbol 567 MovieClipUses:566Used by:569
Symbol 568 MovieClipUses:550 SS2Used by:569
Symbol 569 MovieClipUses:492 493 494 495 496 497 498 499 500 502 503 504 505 506 507 508 509 510 82 93 83 85 91 89 66 49 72 95 100 84 511 512 513 514 542 543 544 545 546 547 548 549 550 551 552 553 554 560 561 564 567 568 SS3Used by:Timeline
Symbol 570 GraphicUsed by:Timeline
Symbol 571 TextUses:11Used by:Timeline
Symbol 572 TextUses:11Used by:Timeline
Streaming Sound 1Used by:Symbol 126 MovieClip
Streaming Sound 2Used by:Symbol 568 MovieClip
Streaming Sound 3Used by:Symbol 569 MovieClip

Instance Names

"loader"Frame 1Symbol 15 MovieClip
"intro"Frame 21Symbol 126 MovieClip
"fader"Frame 21Symbol 128 MovieClip
"nav"Frame 21Symbol 172 MovieClip
"mask"Symbol 15 MovieClip Frame 1Symbol 6 MovieClip

Special Tags

ExportAssets (56)Timeline Frame 1Symbol 1 as "loopy"
ExportAssets (56)Timeline Frame 1Symbol 2 as "introsound"

Labels

"a0"Frame 21
"a1"Frame 22
"a2"Frame 23
"a3"Frame 24
"a4"Frame 25
"a5"Frame 26
"a6"Frame 27
"a7"Frame 28
"a8"Frame 29
"a9"Frame 30
"a10"Frame 31
"a11"Frame 32
"loop"Symbol 121 MovieClip Frame 15
"b0"Symbol 172 MovieClip Frame 27
"b1"Symbol 172 MovieClip Frame 28
"b2"Symbol 172 MovieClip Frame 29
"b3"Symbol 172 MovieClip Frame 30
"b4"Symbol 172 MovieClip Frame 31
"b5"Symbol 172 MovieClip Frame 32
"b6"Symbol 172 MovieClip Frame 33
"b7"Symbol 172 MovieClip Frame 34
"b8"Symbol 172 MovieClip Frame 35
"b9"Symbol 172 MovieClip Frame 36
"b10"Symbol 172 MovieClip Frame 37
"b11"Symbol 172 MovieClip Frame 38
"on"Symbol 177 MovieClip Frame 1
"off"Symbol 177 MovieClip Frame 2
"send"Symbol 542 MovieClip Frame 1
"sent"Symbol 542 MovieClip Frame 9

Dynamic Text Variables

_root.sendnameSymbol 526 EditableText""
_root.sendemailSymbol 527 EditableText""




http://swfchan.com/4/18325/info.shtml
Created: 31/5 -2019 02:03:20 Last modified: 31/5 -2019 02:03:20 Server time: 09/05 -2024 05:14:24