STORY LOOP FURRY PORN GAMES C SERVICES [?] [R] RND POPULAR | Archived flashes: 228072 |
/disc/ · /res/ — /show/ · /fap/ · /gg/ · /swf/ | P0001 · P2560 · P5120 |
This is the info page for Flash #28664 |
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Please note that this booklet: |
Can only be viewed via your printer. Will take 6 A4 pages to print out. Requires 1.6 minutes of assembly. |
The Instructions For Assembly Are As Follows |
Simple Method: |
Super Deluxe Method: |
Fold the covers page as directed below. Fold all other pages pages in half as directed in fig 2. Place folded pages inside covers page and read book. |
*Now Featuring An All Encompassing Theme |
Fig. 1 |
"I love a good trouser as much as the next man, and as I said to the boy in River Island last Saturday "This trouser is no good son!" He did happen to be my son, but in this Clinton's book that's no excuse for shoddy trouser. Bearing in mind my love and explicit knowledge of good trouser, I've put together this handy reference guide about what separates good trouser from bad…" |
Maintains shape even after using leg to wipe damp hound. |
Turnups suitable for knife, luncheon meat storage. |
Raises the Major's eyebrows at social functions. |
Inability to be used for evil. |
Feet glide through legs and effortlessly into shoes. |
Co-ordinates with Gideon's Bible. |
Rats living in pocket. |
Smells of mother. |
Hemline causes children to relentlessly mock. |
Increased risk of leg cancer. |
Tendency to spoil during cribbage games. |
Eerie sounds and cold spots indicate possible haunting. |
Talking point at rural 'Brewmania' lager festival. |
They look a touch gay in a certain light. |
#34 Bum & Onion |
ADVERTISEMENT |
How to play: 1. Cut out the swan and the pond. 2. Place the swan and the pond on the table. 3. Prevent the swan from reaching the pond with a pencil. |
FOLD |
A FUN GAME FOR ALL TO PLAY! |
Fig. 2 |
With just a little more perseverance (and two staples), the reader has the chance to enjoy THE BOOK OF MANY LITTLE THINGS without any annoying 'blank spaces'. Fold the covers page as illustrated in fig. 3. Fold the contents page as indicated in fig. 4 and place against the blank side of the covers page. Fold the remaining pages over so the two printed sides face apart (fig. 5). Put these pages inside the cover/contents page and staple together. If these instructions seem perfectly clear, then congratulations, you win some kind of book making medal. Well done! |
Fig. 3 |
Fig. 5 |
Contents |
THE BOOK OF MANY LITTLE THINGS Vol 1. Issue 1. Was made by Mr Simon Swatman, Mr Log, and Ms Mara Goes. With thanks to Mr Udagawa and Mr M. Waterfield. All words and images are © 2002 the respective authors. No reproduction without consent. No diving or bombing. A HELPFUL NOTICE TO READERS: Various copies of this pamphlet may contain blank pages. Suggestions for putting these 'blank' pages to good use are as follows: i) Ignore them. ii) Fill them with sketches of mice wearing amusing and/or inappropriate attire. iii) Keep a record of key facts about murders that occur near your home or place of business. iv) Stain/spillage absorption. v) Maintain an accurate tally of broken relationships. vi) Produce a clever forgery of a goose's passport. |
INSIDE : THE POINTER SISTERS FIGHT BACK |
“I’ve never seen anything like it. Her mouth was full of jewellery and flesh." |
P.14 |
P.24 |
P.31 |
1. Mince will lather when rubbed vigorously. 2. Victorians had steam-powered light bulbs. 3. The Welsh don't know their own strength. 4. Black people cannot drink milk because it is the wrong colour. 5. Strobe lights can make you pregnant. 6. When women say no, they want more Martini. 7. Pigeons can give you AIDS. 8. If everyone jumped off a chair at the same time, the world would crack open and a beautiful flaming bird would carry us all to Neptune. 9. Dogs are either clockwork or magnetic - she's not sure which. 10. If given enough Dairylea, children will build bridges. 11. There can be only one ham sandwich. 12. NATO is run by He-Man. |
"I notice they've changed the hotkey for viewing site files on Dreamweaver 4 from F5 to F8. If that rightward trend continues, it'll be on the Scroll Lock key by version six. As if! Where next, Macromedia? There's nowhere left!" |
The End Of The Book |
AND OF THIS MAN'S LIFE |
Fig. 4 |
Toothpaste Ingredient Joke Explained |
Lazy sub-Morris juxtapositions. |
Random whimsy. |
"I am responsible for the death of my abusive father." |
A SECRET SWITCH! |
CLICK |
PEEYOO - THE HOTSTEPPER IS FULLA BUMBROWNS! |
Returning for another session on the hotstepper carousel this week is sceptic James Randi, whose history in forensic science leaves him perfectly equipped to dust the carousel for fingerprints after last issue's grisly murder. |
No.8 Roast Trumpet |
YOU’RE NOT MY WIFE. And these certainly aren’t my trousers. I’m very confused. If only my brother was here. 0118 496 0001 |
HAVE YOU SEEN MY DOG? I haven’t seen it, because it doesn’t exist - so this whole advert is purely hypothetical. 08081 570 980 |
YABBA DABBA DOO! That's the sound I make when I ejaculate. If anyone else can think of something even more jubilant, I may be willing to say that instead. 0118 496 0006 |
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A BARGAIN? If so, then don't bother reading the rest this. I'm only selling an old paperback copy of WHERE EAGLES DARE and I want a million pounds for it. 0131 496 0002 |
I SHOT THE SHERIFF, BUT I DID NOT KILL THE DEPUTY. No, that was my mate Keith. He's fucking insane. Someone should arrest him. 08081 570980 |
WANTED: Set of bellows to flush potential war criminal tortoise out of shell. 0171 946 0009 |
The Hotstepper Carousel |
#8 Lemon Fuhrer |
OUT-OF-PERSPECTIVE BICYCLE WITH SQUARE WHEELS required by distant giant who wishes to cycle over a mountainous horizon to the amazement of villagers below. 0909 8790989 |
DISMISSIVE GLANCE wanted for unwelcome suitor. Nothing too cruel, as I think he may be retarded. 01623 568 242 |
HONK HONK HONK HONK, honk honk honk honk honk, honk honk honk honk. That's the sound my goose makes all the time. Quite frankly I'm sick of it. 0909 8790980 |
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A GOOD PINT OF BEER. And this is nothing like a good pint of beer. It’s a golfing umbrella. £25 ono. 0131 496 0002 |
QUITE HUNGRY HIPPO FOR SALE Just a few more days without food and I’m sure he’ll eat your marbles. Phone after six – I’m a clergyman. 08081 570980 |
CHAT? Not here. Do it on your own time. 0113 496 0004 |
SKETCH AREA |
ActionScript [AS1/AS2]
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