swfchan: kids.swf (info)

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Things I've Learned
From My Children

(Honest, and no kidding...)

START

1. A king size waterbed holds
enough water to fill a 2000 sq.
foot house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust
bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A three year old's voice is
louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over
a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42
pound boy wearing Batman
underwear and a Superman cape.

5. It is strong enough, however, if
tied to a paint can, to spread paint
on all four walls of a 20 by 20
foot room.

6. You should not throw baseballs
up when the ceiling fan is on.

7. When using the ceiling fan as a
bat, you have to throw the ball up
a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a
long way.

8. The glass in windows (even
double pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

9. When you hear the toilet flush
and the words "Uh-oh," it's
already too late.

10. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox
makes smoke, and lots of it.

11. A six year old can start a fire
with a flint rock even though a
grown man says they can only do
it in the movies.

12. Certain LEGOs will pass
through the digestive tract of a
four year old.

13. Play Dough and Microwave
should never be used in the same
sentence.

14. Super glue is forever.

15. No matter how much Jell-O
you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.

16. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

17. VCR's do not eject peanut
butter sandwiches even though
TV commercials show they do.

18. Garbage bags do not make
good parachutes.

19. Marbles in gas tanks make
lots of noise when driving.

20. You probably do not want to
know what that odor is.

21. Always look in the oven
before you turn it on. Plastic toys
do not like ovens.

22. The local fire department
has a 5 minute response time.

23. The spin cycle on the
washing machine does not
make earth worms dizzy.

24. It will however make
cats dizzy.

25. Cats throw up twice their
body weight when dizzy.

And finally, the mind of a
child is wonderful.

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