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toddlerdiet.swf

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TODDLER'S MIRACLE

THE

DIET PLAN

Over the years you may have noticed, as I have, that
most two-year-olds are thin. It came to me one day
over a cup of prune juice and a carrot that perhaps
their diet is the reason. After consultation with
pediatricians, X-ray technicians, and distraught moms,
I was able to formulate this new diet --
THE TODDLER'S MIRACLE DIET PLAN!

It is inexpensive, offers a great variety,
sufficient quantity, and guarantees
you'll lose weight! Before embarking on
the diet, however, be sure to check with
your doctor... and plan a trip to see him
afterwards as well.
Good luck!

TODDLER'S MIRACLE

THE

DIET PLAN

DAY ONE

Breakfast -- One scrambled egg, one piece of
toast with grape jelly. Using your fingers, eat 2
bites of egg; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite
of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and
clothes.

Lunch -- Four crayons (any color), several
crushed potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips
only, then spill the rest).

Dinner -- A handful of dry dog food, two
pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of stale cola.

Bedtime Snack -- Toast piece of bread
and toss it on the kitchen floor.

DAY TWO

Breakfast -- Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor
and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one
vial of vegetable dye.

Lunch -- Half a tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick.
One ice cube, if desired.

Afternoon Snack -- Lick an all-day sucker
until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve
and continue slurping until it is clean again.
Then bring inside and drop on rug.

Dinner -- A rock or an uncooked bean,
either swallowed or thrust up your left
nostril. Pour apple juice over mashed
potatoes; eat with a spoon.

DAY THREE

Breakfast -- Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat
with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk: drink half,
stuff remaining pancake in glass. After breakfast,
pick up yesterday's sucker from rug, lick off fuzz,
and put it on the cushion of your best chair.

Lunch -- One page of a storybook, and a
peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several
bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table
and slurp up.

Dinner -- Half of an ice cream cone,
handful of grapes, some red punch. Choke
on punch and nearly vomit.

FINAL DAY

Breakfast -- A quarter tube of toothpaste (any
flavor), 1 bite of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk
over a bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar.
Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to
dog.

Lunch -- Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and
dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish
eating it.

Dinner -- Spaghetti and meatballs, eaten
strand by strand. Roll meatballs across plate
many times then place down your shirt.
Nibble on stick of mascara for dessert.

So there you have it -- The Toddler's Miracle Diet
Plan.  If you can just stick with the plan, before you
know it you will be down to a lean and mean 29
pound fighting machine!

Note:  This plan is not endorsed by any health
or medical professional of any sort, or any other
reasonable adult for that matter, but it seems to
work great for two-year-olds!

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http://swfchan.com/1/4278/info.shtml
Created: 17/6 -2019 04:37:00 Last modified: 17/6 -2019 04:37:00 Server time: 29/04 -2024 09:36:33