| STORY LOOP FURRY PORN GAMES • C • SERVICES [?] [R] RND POPULAR | Archived flashes: 229595 |
| /disc/ · /res/ — /show/ · /fap/ · /gg/ · /swf/ | P0001 · P2595 · P5190 |
| STORY LOOP FURRY PORN GAMES • C • SERVICES [?] [R] RND POPULAR | Archived flashes: 229595 |
| /disc/ · /res/ — /show/ · /fap/ · /gg/ · /swf/ | P0001 · P2595 · P5190 |
 | This is the info page for Flash #50103 |
| MAX PAYNE 3 - BY BURTON EARNY |
| THE FALLING OVER OF MAX PAYNE PART 3 |
| THE MAN AT THE TICKET OFFICE SAID THERE WAS A SPECIAL TREAT TODAY. |
| A TREASURE HUNT, FUN FOR ALL THE FAMILY, AND A SPECIAL PRIZE AT THE END. I THOUGHT THIS WAS GREAT, I HADN'T WON A PRIZE SINCE THAT JUMP-ROPE COMPETITION WITH MUHAMMAD ALI. |
| I DECIDED TO GIVE IT A GO, TO SEE IF I COULD WIN. FIRST, I HAD TO GET TO A PHONE SOMEWHERE IN THE BUILDING, AND ANSWER IT WITH "I'M A BIG HAIRY GORILLA." |
| I'M A BIG HAIRY GORILLA. |
| ARE YOU NOW? |
| NO. I'M MAX PAYNE, FEDERAL AGENT. DID I WIN YET? |
| I'M AFRAID NOT MR. PAYNE, WE'VE GOT A LOT MORE FOR YOU TO DO. FIRST, GO FIND THE PIECE OF PAPER IN THE NEXT ROOM, IT WILL TELL YOU WHAT TO DO. |
| OKAY THEN. WOW, I'VE NEVER HAD SO MUCH FUN IN MY LIFE. |
| GOOD LUCK! |
| I PUT THE PHONE DOWN WITH A 'KLIK'. I KNEW SOMETHING WAS STRANGE WHEN I NOTICED SOUND EFFECTS BEING SPELT WRONG. |
| I WAS CONFUSED IN THE NEXT ROOM BECAUSE THERE WERE THREE SHEETS OF PAPER. I ALMOST WENT INTO A STATE OF PANIC, BUT REALISED THEY WERE ALL THE SAME. |
| AYEIS… ASUR… ESAYER… I COULDN'T PRONOUNCE THE WORD ON THE PAPER. |
| THE TREASURE HUNT LED ME OUTSIDE. IT WAS STILL REALLY COLD. |
| IT TOOK THREE SECONDS FOR MY ASS TO GO NUMB. |
| TO MAKE THIS PART OF THE HUNT MORE FUN, I DECIDED TO RUN AROUND DOING JAMES BOND IMPRESSIONS. |
| SO, FROSTY THE SNOWMAN… WE MEET AGAIN. |
| JAMES BOND GOT BORING AFTER A WHILE, SO I CARRIED ON WITH THE HUNT. |
| THE SNOW WAS REAL PRETTY… IT MADE ME WANT TO WRITE MY NAME IN IT WITH PEE. |
| I ALMOST DID UNTIL I REMEMBERED THE TIME I GOT IT FROZEN TO A LAMPPOST. I NEVER QUITE REMEMBER HOW IT HAPPENED, BUT IT STUNG LIKE HELL FOR WEEKS. |
| I WENT TO FIND FRIENDS TO HELP ME... |
| HO… TEL… THIS WAS THE PLACE. |
| I NEVER QUITE UNDERSTOOD WHY THE OWNER WENT WITH A NAME AS BORING AS 'HOTEL'. I WOULD HAVE CALLED IT 'MEGA HOTEL'. |
| I SUPPOSE THE TRAMPS INSIDE DESTROYED MY DREAMS OF MEGA HOTEL. |
| STILL, MAYBE I COULD BUILD MY OWN: 'THE MAX PAYNE MEGA HOTEL'. NAH, SCREW IT. |
| I MET UP WITH THE GUYS. |
| HEY MAX, SHOW HIM YER PSYCHIC THING! |
| YEAH, WHAT AM I THINKING? |
| HMM… YOU'RE THINKING "WHAT IF CLINT EASTWOOD WAS IN 'THE MATRIX'?" |
| DO YOU FEEL LUCKY PUNK? WELL, DO YA? IT'S NOT WHETHER I FEEL LUCKY OR NOT, IT'S IF I BELIEVE THAT FATE WILL CAUSE LUCK WITHIN ME TO PREVAIL OVER ALL PROBLEMS I ENCOUNTER. |
| ANYWAY, WHAT ARE YOU TWINS UP TO TONIGHT? |
| YOU THINK WE'RE TWINS? |
| NAH WE AINT TWINS, MAX, WE'RE BOYFRIENDS. |
| WE'VE JUST BEEN HAVIN ANAL IN THE CORNER. |
| I SUDDENLY FELT VERY SICK. THAT WAS AN EXTRA DETAIL I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW. |
| I GOT NOTHING AGAINST THEIR SEXUALITY, BUT TO FIND OUT THAT THEY'VE BEEN SPENDING THE EVENING CHECKING EACH OTHERS' PLUMBING, AND GIVING EACH OTHER A PAIN IN THE BRONX WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE A SAINT INTO HITLER. |
| I THREW THEM BOTH OUT OF THE WINDOW. |
| INCIDENTALLY, THE NEXT CLUE WAS WRITTEN ON A PIECE OF PAPER IN THE ROOM: "LOOK AT THE DARTBOARD". |
| I COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT, SO I DECIDED TO PLAY DARTS WHILE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT. |
| SUDDENLY IT HIT ME: THE DARTBOARD LOOKED LIKE A ROULETTE WHEEL, SO MAYBE I SHOULD GO TO A CASINO OF SOME SORT. |
| THERE WAS A PICTURE OF VINNIE GOGNITTI ON THE BOARD, AND IT KEPT GETTING IN THE WAY OF THE DARTS. |
| THE NOTE HAD MORE WRITTEN ON IT: "YOU MUST FIND THE ROOM HE IS IN, IT SHOULD BE ROOM 313! GOOD LUCK, TREASURE HUNTER!" |
| I DECIDED TO HEAD TO THE NEAREST CASINO, TO ROOM 313. I WAS SO EXCITED I COULD BARELY CONTAIN MYSELF. |
| THE CASINO WAS REALLY COOL. IT HAD A LEGO MODEL OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING. |
| I LOVED LEGO. I ONE DAY HOPED TO BE GOOD ENOUGH TO MAKE ONE MYSELF. |
| I FOUND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY, AND DECIDED TO TAKE A SNEAKY SWIG, TO KEEP ME WARM ON THE TREASURE HUNT. |
| DAMN. I HAD FORGOTTEN WHAT THE ROOM NUMBER WAS. I DECIDED TO GO INTO THE CLOSEST ONE I COULD FIND, BECAUSE WHISKEY ALWAYS WENT STRAIGT THROUGH ME. |
| BY AN INSANE COINCIDENCE, I CAME OUT OF THE BATHROOM IN ROOM 313 TO FIND THE NEXT CLUE. |
| "YO SWEETIE PIE, I'LL SEE YA TONIGHT IN THE BAR. DON'T FORGET TO WEAR Y-FRONTS! LOVE, CANDY DAWN.". |
| THIS CLUE SEEMED TO BE WORDED IN A STRANGE WAY, BUT I DECIDED TO KEEP GOING. |
| I KNEW I HAD TO FIND THE BAR, BUT FIRST, I NEEDED TO FIND SOME Y- FRONTS IN THIS ROOM. |
| COMFORTABLE IN MY NEW UNDERWEAR, I SET OFF FOR THE BAR. |
| I THREW MY OLD PAIR AWAY, AS I KNEW I WOULDN'T NEED THEM. |
| REMEMBER KIDS, LITTERING IS WRONG! SO DON'T BE A PAYNE! PICK IT UP! |
| I GOT LOST IN THE GREAT LABYRINTH OF THE CASINO'S APARTMENTS. |
| I ENDED UP IN SOME WOMAN'S ROOM. SHE KEPT A WEIRD DIARY. |
| "THURSDAY, 10 O'CLOCK, BLOW JOB FOR RICO. REMEMBER TO BRING MENTOS FOR AFTERWARDS." I DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS ANOTHER CLUE, BUT IT SEEMED CRYPTIC, AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANT. |
| WHAT WAS MORE CONFUSING IS THAT THE BED HAD A COIN SLOT NEXT TO IT. |
| I PUT A COIN IN, AND THE BED STARTED TO VIBRATE. I DIDN'T KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENED, AS IT WOULD PROBABLY KEEP YOU AWAKE. |
| TO BE CONTINUED.. |
| BY BURTON EARNY. MUSIC FROM MAX PAYNE. |
ActionScript [AS1/AS2]
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