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Retarded Animal Babies 19.swf

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Flash #56636

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Text
If you're watching this video anywhere but Newgrounds, it's stolen by ass-master dork-slurpers

Thanks to everyone at Newgrounds
for the bandwidth, audience, and ongoing support!

-

-

subtitles

ON OFF

GET THE DVD!
NEW CHEAP-ASS PRICE!
ONLY
$
11.
95
!!

play

play

presents

presents
(all splayed out on the floor, so trusting, letting you call the shots)

A little something by

animal

skeet

"dog complex"

Yodelee olodle lady adyady

Yodelee olodle dee.

Lady ady ady tee.

Alodle tee alodle tee alodle lady tee.

Ahhh.

Congratulations, Miss Lohan...

...you're fuck number 1,000,000.

You win a free iPod.

Yay!  Really?

No, not really you cum-suppering, trick-dizzy,
drug-addled queen of the damned.

Do me a favor and get outta my office, OK?

Fine.  I guess that'll be the usual $300?

Whatever.

Ehh, it's just Lindsay Lohan crawling out
of a dumpster half-naked again.

Ehhhh...

Bo-ring.

I brought a weed-wacker and attached it to my walnuts!

Y'all wanna see me turn it on?

Sure.

Go for it

Okey dokey!

Dangit!

C'mon!

D'aww!

Can't seem to...

...get it...goin'...

D'aw...

So, guys...

I just fucked my millionth hole today.

Cool mil.

Wow, good going, Doctor J.

Did you wear protection?

Ha ha ha....eeyeah.

That's a good one, Cat.

You always know how to cheer me up...

Yeah, yeah, OK.  Don't touch the upholstery.

Why are Puppy saddest?

Have you finally realized the inherent
fallacy of your endless pursuits?

Am you, at last, realizing the fruitlessness
of living from conquest to conquest...

...and coming to terms with the fact that no matter
how many vaginas and assholes you fill with semen...

...it will never truly fill... your heart?

Not really, fag.

I was just wishing I could get the other 5.9 billion
vaginas and assholes filled with semen a bit more quickly.

At this rate I won't be done until the
far-off year of 2009 A.D.

Not if I can help it!

Muahaha.

Muahahaha.

Grubthar, go fetch the xenon atomizer and
a six-pack of Duff™ out of the fridge.

We've got a mission.

Mister Groening...

...we've already gone back four years and
killed these guys once today.

They're just not bound to normal linear time.

The good news is... they never did make a competing movie...

... so your "Simpsons" flick made millions!

Just... let it go, man...

Yeah, Matt...

...they're isolated in a continuity-proof bubble...

...like a buncha Kennys from "South Park."

We may never figure out why!

Unless, they've got some kind of... alternate physical
law usurper which I think is highly unlikely.

BLAH BLAH BLAH...

Fine, just get the six-pack then.

Glaughhibkkhigbiigibibigahiaughibhgkbiahghaighgbloowgh!!

...feels bad...

My turn!

Today for "Show and Hell," I brought my spelunking equipment.

Cool.

Neato!

What the fuck is "spelunking?"

Haven't the foggiest.

My give up.

Spelunking means cave exploring.

Caves?  Like baby caves?
(in reference to vaginas, of course)

No, ROCK caves.

Deep, dark holes in the Earth, filled with minerals.

And cool  formations!  Like... stalactites...

And... stalagmites... and...

YAWN!

...and, uh...

WHORES!

Whoa!  Whores?  Watsat?!

Bunny, you don't have to make stuff up to be interesting.

Just be yourself.

Yes, Bunny.  Reach down inside yourself.

They're right, Bunny.  Allow me.

BLIGKKAGKIKKKHKK

Guess you won't be needing this spelunking shit
any more, bitchmeister...

Fellas, I'm going cave exploring.

L8R

Don't YOU have anything for "Show and Hell?"

Oh, uh...

I brought a dead rabbit.

In the old days, people used rabbits to test for pregnancy.

If the rabbit died, your wife was pregnant,
meaning you could then cheat on her.

Hm... entertaining AND informative!

Ehh...

...I've seen better...

OK, dark and scary hole!

Prepare yourself to be invaded!

Hehehe, yeah.

A naked blonde walks into a bar.

With a poodle under one arm, and a
two-foot salami under the other.

She lays the poodle on the table.

Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink."

The naked lady says--

--OHH SHIIITT!!

What the... HELL?

Soft... warm...

...and slightly wet.

Hmm.

Nobody lookin'... all alone...

...wait, what do I care.

Unh!  Unh!  Unh!  Oh!

Yeah!  WHOA there, Mama...

OK, take it easy... you don't gotta play rough--

WHOA!

OK... joke's over... I'm gonna need those legs--

ACCK!!

OK!  This is not the time for bitter irony... OK--

IGHIGHH

What's that noise?  Thunder?

My Mommy says God is bowling...

...or He are horniest.

No, it's the ground!  Something's wrong...

Bye, guys.  I'm moving to a condo.

On Mars.

Bye, Satan.

Goodbye, cruel world.

See you in the next continuity bubble...

WAHH!  WAAaaAHH!

AaaWAHHah!

WAITER!!

YOU SAID THIS PLANET WAS UNFERTILIZED!

IT JUST HATCHED RIGHT ON MY FUCKING PLATE!!

I'M TOTALLY GROSSED OUT RIGHT NOW!

I... think I should at least get a free dessert out of this.

Right you are, sir.  Coming right up...

...let me just take this away.

Today for super-galactic ultra-Show-and-Tell...

I brought the universe's largest and
most powerful black hole.

It's inside this protective box,
preventing it from destroying us all.

Cool, huh?

Pretty cool, ese...

Hey, can I borrow that for just an eon?

Sure, Ultra-Puppy!

Theenks.

Step one... cut a hole in the box...

Hey!  Don't do that!

Step two... put your junk in that box...

NGUUAAAGHHHH...

WHOA!

Congratulations, you've out-fucked
everyone else in the entire universe.

Thanks.  What's that in your hand?

This?  This is peanut butter.

Do you like peanut butter?

Do you like to lick it?

But... I...

You KNOW you like to lick it...

You could lick it all day, I bet...

Nobody's lookin'...

...you know who I am...

...and I could make ya...

Sure, what the fuck.

Got any chunky?

Dude...

...you are SO going to Hell.

Ehh, bite me.

Fag.

later that day...

47 trillion or whatever years later...

THE

D

N

E

H

T

Written, directed, and animated by
David C. Lovelace
CAST
Some story elements donated by
Eli Williamson-Jones
Sound Direction by
David C. Lovelace
MUSIC
"Retarded Music"
Performed by John E. Neon
©2001 David C. Lovelace
"Retarded Ultra Babies"
(same song, just "ultra-processed")
"Tom Sawyer" - Rush
"Swiss Yodel" - Roy Rogers
Songs used with persimmons
Special thanks and/or apologies to:
Laurie Sprague
Eli Williamson-Jones
Matt Groening
Keith Laverty
...and, of course, God.

Animal Babies
Lindsay Lohan
Paparazzi 1
Paparazzi 2
Matt Groening
Leprechaun Aliens
Galactus
Ultra-Waiter
Ultra-Being
God

- David C. Lovelace
- Dara DeCroce
- Tom Vickers
- David C. Lovelace
- David C. Lovelace
- David C. Lovelace
- Mike Nannini
- Tom Vickers
- David C. Lovelace
- Vince Gilliberti

play again

play again

COCKER SPANIEL

POODLE

COCKAPOO

SHIH-TZU

CHITZU-POO

PUG

SEAN CONNERY

SHRUG

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Symbol 1133 BitmapUsed by:1134
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Streaming Sound 1Used by:Timeline

Instance Names

"box"Frame 1Symbol 21 MovieClip
"box"Frame 3Symbol 21 MovieClip
"subtitle"Frame 420Symbol 300 MovieClip

Special Tags

FileAttributes (69)Timeline Frame 1Access local files only, Metadata not present, AS1/AS2.

Labels

"complete"Frame 2
"ret1"Frame 180
"ret2"Frame 225
"egg1"Frame 6058
"egg2"Frame 6067
"On"Symbol 21 MovieClip Frame 1
"Off"Symbol 21 MovieClip Frame 2

Dynamic Text Variables

bytesMessageSymbol 11 EditableText"-"
iqMessageSymbol 12 EditableText"-"




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Created: 19/4 -2019 04:23:56 Last modified: 19/4 -2019 04:23:56 Server time: 22/12 -2024 18:39:41