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<p align="right"><font face="arial" size="33" color="#00cc00" letterSpacing="0.000000" kerning="1"><a href="http://proffate.deviantart.com" target = "_blank">Proffate&apos;s deviantArt</a></font></p>

<p align="right"><font face="arial" size="33" color="#00cc00" letterSpacing="0.000000" kerning="1"><a href="http://www.albinoblacksheep.com" target = "_blank">AlbinoBlackSheep</a></font></p>

Song is copyright Fatboy Slim.
Animation and Tashito (c) Peter Turner.

PROFESSOR FATE
CULT NAME: King Amadeus Asmodeus XIII
AGE: Mentally infantile
SEX: Androgyne. It comes and goes
LOCATION: YAMUM *Juvanile guffaw*
TASTE IN CLOTHES: All over the place!
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: PIRATES!!! :D
HAIR: Orange. Au Naturelle.
OCCUPATION: Uh gee, I dunno, how about the GUY WHO WROTE THIS? 6_6
Professor Fate is a man of many talents. For instance, he can talk to fish, draw with
his left hand (badly), turn his eyelids inside out, roll his stomach and actually sing
songs backwards so that they SOUND RIGHT when reversed.
His right eye sucks real bad. He can barely even see out of it. But hey, you win
some, you lose some, right?
The Professor needs deviantArt like a crackwhore needs crack. He goes into
withdrawal if he goes for too long without it.
He loves cutesy things, but he also loves gory things. He does not, however, like
Happy Tree Friends, because it is just not funny after you've seen two episodes.
Professor Fate likes games and movies, but what he really LOVES is music. He's
also one of those geeky people who listen to music that no one esle ever listens to,
ever - including, but not limited to, wave files ripped from obscure Nintendo games.
The Professor enjoys wearing plastic bags on his head which are fashioned to look
like crudely constructed cat-masks and walk around in public places.
He does NOT, however,  enjoy long walks along the beach.

TRILLKY
CULT NAME: Prince Trillian, Defender of Umbrellas and the Faith
AGE: Explosive
SEX: Female (variable)
LOCATION: Seattle
TASTE IN CLOTHES: (Research still being undertaken)
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: Other people <3
HAIR: Green. In real life. I'm not kidding!
OCCUPATION: Genuine japanophile
Trillian, also known as Trilly, Trillky, Trilx, t3h tr1lx0rz, Trillion and Prince Tori, is the
epitome of all that is garishly gaudy. She is one of those people who are usually
described as "bubbly". I happen to know for a fact that Archfriend hates that word,
and the people who are considered to be it. But you know, Trilx is so mega-lovable
that you can't help but feel all mushy and blush every time she logs into MSN.
Her average get-up can only be described as, metaphorically speaking, Hand
Assembled and held together with duct tape.
She's one of those freaky people who have seen, like, every anime there ever is,
but these days that number is growing exponentially specifically thanks to
YouTube.
Trillian is actually part of a super-cool crime-fighting duo of superheroes, under
which she is known as Prince Tori, the new superman. Her superpowered buddy is
none other than Professor Fate, known as Destin Mignon in his superheroine form,
and their mutual arch nemesis is none other than the evil Kaiser Grock.
She enjoys flowers, rain, trees, transvestitism and the        emoticon.

THE WALRUS OF DOOM
CULT NAME: Sergant Wallace, Lord of the He-Men
AGE: ONIONS!
SEX: Female
LOCATION: Seattle
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Pretty cool, actually. She has the best hat on Earth.
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: Ultraviolence
HAIR: Blue. Took some getting used to, but it suits her.
OCCUPATION: Living occupational hazard
The  Walrus of Doom, AKA Lurian, is a right 'orrowshow droog of your humble
narrator. She also loves hanging with her droogs and performin' lashings of the
old ultraviolence.
Apart from that, her interests lay with chatting with friends online, eating live fish
and sword swallowing.
Her best friend (and on some days, her worst enemy) is none other than
Vermillion, a feisty catman who has a bad habit of de-foresting the Walrus'
Animal Crossing towns. But are they merely friends, or will true romance
blossom? Find out next week in another exciting episode of Days of Our Lives!
Interestingly enough, the Walrus has actually seen a Night at the Roxbury, so
she remains one of the few people on the planet Earth who have gone to the
trouble of actually making a spoof of the infamous "WHAT IS LOVE" joyride gif,
AND who have actually seen the movie it is from.
Professor Fate does not fit into this category, but he does belong to the people
who have spoofed the gif anyway, as you are *just* about to see! ^^

RYANIDE
CULT NAME: Puppet Marquiss Sparky Pathmadegood, Keeper of the Shizzle
AGE: Age doesn't matter to me anymore...
SEX: Male
LOCATION: Cairns. No, not the French one with the film festival!
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Hawaiian. Very Hawaiian!
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: NINJAS!!! :D
HAIR: Blacker than the most fiendishly cold-hearted of ravens!
OCCUPATION: The kid next door who could never do you wrong.
Ryanide is extremely pious. In fact, just like another certain friend of the
Professor's, he annoys the shit out of Professor Fate by continuously bringing up
religion when he really shouldn't. At least Ryanide, however, has the common
decency to try and convert the Professor to God and not to some Earth-spirit who
is apparently supposed to protect us from some psychic alien from Zorgon 5.
Despite his proud ways of the cloth, however, he is still an official member of
Professor Fate's cult, which is positively rockin', and proves beyond doubt that
Ryanide is pleasantly open-minded.
He can do all this REALLY COOL STUFF in Super Smash Brothers Melee like slide
across the ground and 'attach' attacks onto Ness' skin, and is the ONLY opponent
Professor Fate cannot kick the living shit out of with Ganondorf.
Luckily, however, Professor Fate is extremely knowledgable on all the best battle
tactics in Zelda: Winda Waker. He discovered a glitch to make weapons fly fifty
miles into the air and he can kill four Mighty Darknuts without cutting their straps,
removing their helmets or using light-arrows and without taking a SINGLE HIT.

VUSNAX
CULT NAME: Enfantor Canis Der Lupis Lavachio Falconi IV
AGE: 72?
SEX: Female
LOCATION: New York
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Largely inspired by Devil May Cry
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: KILLING ZOMBIES
HAIR: Grey and orangey. Sort of.
OCCUPATION: Professional Zombie Hunter
Vusnax (pronouned "Gigantic Awesum"), believes herself to be an obnoxious
plague to all those around her, but in fact she's a real peach.
Wolfie is quite a fan of the gorillas. As it happens, her birthday is on the EXACT
same day as 2D's, which I guess I will admit is pretty cool. I mean, who was born
on the 11th of March, on my birthday? Apart from King Frederick IX of Denmark?
At the time of writing, Wolfie has succumbed rather deeply to the whole "SNAKES
ON A PLANE"  fad. If I hear one more person tell me that it's the best movie ever
BECAUSE it's so bad, I think I'll wet my pants out of pure frustration. Nonetheless,
my curiosity is inticed by the prospect, if nothing else, of seeing Samuel L. Jackson
try to convince the audience once more that he is some kind of badass and why he
thought - nay, KNEW - the film would be so damn good.
She is made of magic.
Well, actually, she's made of pieces of flesh held together with veins and stuff.
Her brain is grey.
Mine's pink.

HAMMY-BOB
CULT NAME: N/A
AGE: The age of a good ham
SEX: Male
LOCATION: The International House of Ham
TASTE IN CLOTHES: That of a very young and immature child!
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: CHEESE AND FISH ^^
HAIR: Nonexistent
OCCUPATION: Hammy-Bob Modder
Hammy-Bob is a thing with a giant piece of ham for a head and he makes the
Hammy-Bob mod. He lives in America with his family and friends who are all
American and live in America except for Chis because he does not live in America
and he is not American unlike the rest of Hammy-Bob's friends.
Hammy-Bob enjoys walks along the beach, walking along beaches and walked
along to beach. He also enjoys beaching along the walk and making the picture in
the head for later use. Tittybeer!
Hammy-Bob likes walruses, but not as much as Professor Fate. That is not the
walrus of doom, but actual WALRUSES, as in, Adobenus Rosmarus. We once had
this party, right, back when the Professor was a dekuscrub, and we were all going
at it hardcore with this bunch of walruses, through which many people (i.e. T-K)
were spying on us through the "Secret Window", but then suddenly, the giant
lightbulb fell from the ceiling and Lynxtor was inside it! We were all like "OMG!!!"
Hammy-Bob looks mighty tasty. But no one has ever really had the guts to take a
bite out of the side of his head... YET.

T-K
CULT NAME: N/A
AGE: I AM MOTHERF--KIN' SICK OF THESE MOTHERF--KIN' AGES IN A
MOTHERF--KIN' PROFILE!!!!
SEX: Male
LOCATION: The magical land of T-K over yonder hill!!! --->
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Clothes? He wears CLOTHES???
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: T-K
HAIR: Just the word "T-K"
OCCUPATION: Guy with a metal ball for a head
SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES
ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A
PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE
SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES
ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A
PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE
SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES
ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A
PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE
SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES
ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A
PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE
SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES
ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE FWT!!!

^o^

T-K

CHIS
CULT NAME: N/A
AGE: 20
SEX: Male
LOCATION: The Scottish highlands!!
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Extremely scottish (not shown: Plaid Kilt)
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD:  Road trips!
HAIR: Not yet, but leave him in the sun and he might grow some! : B
OCCUPATION: All around web-turd
Chis was born in Scotland and grew up in Scotland. He is actually pretty Scottish.
Like, I mean, he doesn't play the bagpipes or anything, but he says "wee" a lot. And
I mean in the "wee bonnie lass" kind of way, not the "who do I have to kill to find a
place to WEE around here?!" kind of way.
The signifigance of his head being made entirely out of poo is actually beyond the
Professor, who originally coined the design in an underground animation (which
had a VERY small but rather rabid cult following XD) called "the Hammy-Bob
song", and it was probably contrived from a bad pun involving "Scottish turd".
Apart from that, he has had some rather shady dealings with Hammy-Bob and T-K
and has had his finger in a lot of pies. And I mean a LOT of pies. And I ain't talking
about the pies you eat, either. Or the fingers you poke with, for that matter.
Chis has this site called Ovencaek which the Professor has not submitted to since
he made the first Gloomboy. He really probably should upload something some
time. ^^; Oh wait! I could TOTALLY UPLOAD THIS!
HAhahahaah, problem solved!!!

JULZ
CULT NAME: High Priestess Juliana, Giver of the Sacred Light to Those Who
Have None
AGE: OLD -Brick'd-  No, not really.
SEX: Female
LOCATION: Briz Vegas (lol)
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Top marks for this one. :)
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: Chai tea or men,
whichever's closest. (Oh, I'll be hanged for this.) >.<
HAIR: Variable. Currently black with red streaks?
OCCUPATION: About five things at once :o
Julz and Fate are like THAT. $ In fact, they are best friends in the world, and you
know, that's a title you don't just throw around. Especially if there are jealous
friends nearby - it will hit them between the eyes and kill them stone dead.
The Professor remembers it like it was yesterday - they met in Art Class, after Prof
had been very, very naughty and kicked out of the other class. He was legally
banned from coming into contact with Damon ever again, especially within the
vicinity of the mentally disadvantaged students.
So instead, Prof entertained himself by talking to this strange, caffeen-driven crazy
girl as they listened to each other's discmans instead of doing work, week after
week after week. Lucky they had identical tastes in music.
And our art teacher would be dancing around in his kilt and playing the bagpipes,
screaming "Now Jewli-Ah-Nah, EENY-wonne ken d'Rau  a Kar-Tewwwn!" and they
became the King and Queen of assignment extentions. The end.

JULZ
CULT NAME: High Priestess Juliana, Giver of the Sacred Light to Those Who
Have None
AGE: 18
SEX: Female
LOCATION: Briz Vegas (lol)
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Top marks for this one. :)
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: Chai tea or men,
whichever's closest. (Oh, I'll be hanged for this.) >.<
HAIR: Variable. Currently black with red streaks?
OCCUPATION: About five things at once :o
Julz and Fate are like THAT. $ In fact, they are best friends in the world, and you
know, that's a title you don't just throw around. Especially if there are jealous
friends nearby - it will hit them between the eyes and kill them stone dead.
The Professor remembers it like it was yesterday - they met in Art Class, after Prof
had been very, very naughty and kicked out of the other class. He was legally
banned from coming into contact with Damon ever again, especially within the
vicinity of the mentally disadvantaged students.
So instead, Prof entertained himself by talking to this strange, caffeen-driven crazy
girl as they listened to each other's discmans instead of doing work, week after
week after week. Lucky they had identical tastes in music.
And our art teacher would be dancing around in his kilt and playing the bagpipes,
screaming "Now Jewli-Ah-Nah, EENY-wonne ken d'Rau  a Kar-Tewwwn!" and they
became the King and Queen of assignment extentions. The end.

LYNXTOR
CULT NAME: N/A
AGE: Quite some
SEX: Male
LOCATION: This fine-ish land of Brisbania
TASTE IN CLOTHES: He has clothes. As for taste in them, who knows! O.0
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: Ants!
HAIR: Black. Sometimes with beard.
OCCUPATION: He's working on it...
Lynxtor and Fate have a long history together, since the age of dinosaurs. They
would sit under the trees and feast upon the husks of coconuts as they slowly
awaited the arrival of the comet-storm that they had been promised so long ago by
those lazy-son-of-a-bitch Martians.
In fact, the first day they ever met was in 2002 when Fate pegged a baseball into
Lynxtor's nuts. You remember that, Lynx? :D
Ahhh, good times, good times. *Wipes tear from eye*
Anyways, his hobbies include eating, drinking and sleeping, along with other
garfield-like activities. Which is funny, because if you listen to the chorus of that
Rammstein song, "Links 2, 3, 4", it sounds exactly like the guy is saying "Lynxtor,
lynxtor, lynxtor, garfield!"
Coincidence? I think not.
Lynxtor has this pet cat called Dexter. It's a vicious bastard that Lynx rescued from
death at the pound. Fate (or Deku, back in those days) used to really piss Lynxtor
off by making animations where Dexter was a green, be-pubed poofter. Don't ask.

LYNXTOR
CULT NAME: N/A
AGE: 18
SEX: Male
LOCATION: This fine-ish land of Brisbania
TASTE IN CLOTHES: He has clothes. As for taste in them, who knows! O.0
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: Ants!
HAIR: Black. Sometimes with beard.
OCCUPATION: He's working on it...
Lynxtor and Fate have a long history together, since the age of dinosaurs. They
would sit under the trees and feast upon the husks of coconuts as they slowly
awaited the arrival of the comet-storm that they had been promised so long ago by
those lazy-son-of-a-bitch Martians.
In fact, the first day they ever met was in 2002 when Fate pegged a baseball into
Lynxtor's nuts. You remember that, Lynx? :D
Ahhh, good times, good times. *Wipes tear from eye*
Anyways, his hobbies include eating, drinking and sleeping, along with other
garfield-like activities. Which is funny, because if you listen to the chorus of that
Rammstein song, "Links 2, 3, 4", it sounds exactly like the guy is saying "Lynxtor,
lynxtor, lynxtor, garfield!"
Coincidence? I think not.
Lynxtor has this pet cat called Dexter. It's a vicious bastard that Lynx rescued from
death at the pound. Fate (or Deku, back in those days) used to really piss Lynxtor
off by making animations where Dexter was a green, be-pubed poofter. Don't ask.

HENNY
CULT NAME: Mdam Akurask - High Priestess of the Flagtown Serpent Sect
AGE: Born again, and again and again
SEX: I've seen disturbing pictures that leave my brain broken. I'm still not sure
LOCATION: FLAGTOWN, ARID ZONE-UGH!
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Kaiserian
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: Cthulhu
HAIR: Muttonchops and a 'hawk.
OCCUPATION: Brain Fuckler Extreme
Henny is a delicious enigma who is stooped deep in this shit. This shit being
Freakiness of the most wholesome variety imaginable.
This creature is attached to a being called Flagtown Coyote. Forgive me for being
presumptuous but I honestly believe that "Flagtown Coyote" is the greatest stage
name of all time.
She eagerly awaits 2012 to wash away the planet's filth.
Henny is a certified master of AIDS, and the deft distribution thereof.
She introduced Proffate to Rabbit Junk (the band, not bunny penises), as well as
the Strand. Both sound like angry musical rainbows fucking your ears.
Henny is a master of dumpster-trawling. She finds many magical and wonderful
things in other people's garbage. This is very cool until she finds food in there and
'dusts it off'. At least she washes it down with soap.
Henny is a fearsome contender for Proffate's biggest fangirl.
She sculpted a statue of Hatticus Headclamp. Most people can't stand to look at
that character let alone make it a horrifying reality.

DOYVID
CULT NAME: Earl Davidius - Keeper of the Seven Bevan Yevon Trevan
AGE: SO TALL IT HURTS
SEX: Male
LOCATION: Brisbaney McBrisbane
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Big and Tall
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: It's a toss-up between
General Grievous and Solid Snake.
HAIR: That silvery grey no one seems to have a decent name for.
OCCUPATION: Fate's in-house sound designer
Doyvid and Proffate get on like a house on fire. That's not to say that they have a
desctructive relationship, but... hmm. Actually, I never DID get that analogy.
Doyvid wins the award for being the vessel of Proffate's longest-running friendship
ever, currently at the length of six years. Not that Proffate couldn't make friends, but
he kept moving around and Doyvid was the first one to pin him to the ground until
he stayed there.
The love of Doyvid's life is not Proffate, or even General Grievous, be as it may, but
rather a girl who is approximately half of Doyvid's immense height. Her name is
Emma, and she has a shrill, squeaking voice that can break glass. This comes in
handy for Doyvid's audiological research. Emma can sing so high that only dogs
can hear it, so it's likely you'll see her open her mouth and Chijuanjuan and Amber
will both drop to the floor covering their ears and howling.
Doyvid likes Star Wars, Metal Gear Solid and Lego.
He's a total geek, but that's why Proffate hangs out with him.

DEVIL
CULT NAME: Duke Satanus Deville XIII (or somesuch)
AGE: A zillion years old and a half
SEX: Male
LOCATION: Brisbane, Nigga': Da Big Bad "B"
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Either a skull loincloth or RAPPER GEAR.
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: Proffate (I wish)
HAIR: Same as Doyvid's, when it isn't shaved off or in a mohawk of some kind...
OCCUPATION: A job-hopper if there ever was one.
"Devil" believes that his nickname and species is a true signifier of his dark lust for
power and foreboding, innermost core of pure evil, but it's generally sniggered at by
Proffate and his friends.
What makes Devil so likeable, however, is that he is Proffate's brother, but that's
about his only redeeming feature.
Devil has had some pretty wild experiences with drugs. And while you're probably
reading this in your cosy little hut and thinking "aw yeah, join the club mac, we've
all been there", I mean REALLY wild.
Such as the time he took DMT and became convinced beyond all doubt that he
was a levitating box jellyfish.
Devil has gone by many names, and many of them have been similar in nature
(and level of utter self-indulgence) as his current one, including Dog Of War,
Warlord, Bullet and (the only cool-sounding one) Halfghost. But I guess I can't
really talk. After all, I used to be Dekuscrub.
And before that I was Scarface Platoon... whatever that means.   '.'

OWENZA
CULT NAME: Baron Owenza, Supreme Hedonist and Keeper of the Karmic
Rubber Band
AGE: He's like a hobo, he gets poorer with age. Well not really but YOU KNOW
SEX: Male
LOCATION: You guessed it, good ol' Brizzy
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Variant, but often shaggy.
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: VIDEOGAMES :D
HAIR: Blonde
OCCUPATION: Fulltime stay-at-home gamer
Straight from the horse's mouth:
"Fate and I, 'Wenza (also known as Professor Fate and Owenza) have been
friends for many years (well, at least two) but one day, in about June of '04, our
friendship took a turn that would soon escalate into a hopeless spiral of biscuit
boxes and drained bottles of coca-cola.
"We were at school, chattering away as we do when Fate mentioned that his bus
dropped him at home an hour after my bus dropped me. Seeing as we live
relatively close together, the idea was conjured up that he could catch my bus
and walk home, with more than a half hour to spare. We decided to put the theory
to the test, and before long we were regular bus cohorts.
"The theory rung true and a system was developed. Every day Fate and I would
bus to my stop, conversing all the way --"
"Owenza, the Scrubs DVD isn't going to put itself in, you know."
"Pah. We'll finish this later."

DRE
CULT NAME: N/A
AGE: UNDER, PLEASE
SEX: Male
LOCATION: Now Brisbane, formerly El Salvador!
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Blue.
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: P-chatting, obviously...
HAIR: He's from El Salvador, have a guess
OCCUPATION: Student of a tirtiary education institution, just as Yours Truly
Ahhh... Dre. Drefus, drefus, drefus.
Dredle! SPIN, DREDLE, SPIN! Muahaha!!
SPINNNNN, DREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Is he related to Dr. Dre? I wouldn't know, he never said he is, but with a name like
that, he must be.
Dre? Dre. Dre has Pacman 3D, which is only the best game ever. I played it when I
was Dre High. *Gestures*
Drekun... Drezden Doll! Nah, Drefus sounds the funniest.
No. I take that back.
DREDLE sounds the funniest.
Dredle, dredle, dredle, I made you with my hands...
Commander Dre! Come in, Commander Dre! We get signal!!
By the way...
I'm better than you at Metal Slug 3. GO FIO!!!

OCTODREAM
CULT NAME: Mrs. Fate
AGE: UNTOLD QUADRILLIONS
SEX: Female
LOCATION: New Jersey
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Goth alert!
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: Teeth
HAIR: It's actually very white.
OCCUPATION: She does stuff.
Octodream, also known as Annie Warhol, is by Ra-Zeusian cult law, the wife of
Proffate. Of course, under cult law, Proffate can have as many wives and husbands
as he wants, but Annie was his first ever spouse.
Usually Proffate isn't the kind of chap who goes for creepy wives, but he was willing
to look past the mere obstacle of the creep factor just this once in lieu of Annie's
species. You see, Proffate has a... thing... for Octopi.
He originally wanted to marry Davey Jones, but he was pre-occupied with some
woman who didn't even write back to his letters. The bitch drove him to carve out
his own heart, for Christ's sake. That's when Proffate realised D.J. was unstable.
In truth, though, Annie is a positively awesome byach, and Proffate is glad to have
had her tentacle in marriage. One thing he'll give the ol' mollusquette is that she's a
damn good kisser. After all, her mouth is a suction cup that can suction a man's
face clean off (Proffate still has that wonderful wedding photo where this nearly
happened to him upon kissing Octodream, moments after being declared married
to her. It took him a week to get the slime out of his mouth).

FYZEL
CULT NAME: Constable Lieubane, something something
AGE: Confidential. It could put the Shadowy Hobo Society in danger.
SEX: Male
LOCATION: Um... America?
TASTE IN CLOTHES: That of a "shadowy hobo".
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: SEURAT THE SEWER RAT
HAIR: Black
OCCUPATION: A shadowy hobo.
Fyzel is a long-running and high-ranking member of a secret society known as the
Shadowy Hobo society, which Proffate is also a member of.
The basic agenda of the Shadowy--
*Fyzel whispers something into Proffate's ear*
Ahem. Good point. Sorry folks, I think I've already said to much.
Um.
SNAKES ON A PLANE!

KONSTABLE
CULT NAME: N/A
AGE: When I ask, he only answers in Spanish
SEX: Male
LOCATION: That most wacky of hamlets, Brisbane
TASTE IN CLOTHES: Very 'groovy'!
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: HERNANDO!!!
HAIR: Curly, brown, covered with a bandanna.
OCCUPATION: Another university student
Konstable (bka Luke Constable) is an enigma wrapped in a mystery deep-fried in
the batter of the unknown.
He is the only rival on Earth for Proffate's dead-of-night university weirdness.
Once, at midnight, Proffate fled to a supermarket, bought a wooden model
aeroplane and constructed it whilst working on a final assessment piece. He then
proceeded to construct a mask out of the plastic bag, and a large hat with cat's
ears from an A3 sheet of paper - all of which was to be, from then on, the official
headgear of the priesthood of the Following of the Shadow of Ra-Zeus.
Conversely, Luke has been known to construct a shrine, surrounded by candles, for
his coffee-cup... and worship it in the darkest hours of the morning.
Proffate's best friend is his stuffed penguin called Jaxie. That may seem a little
weird to you, but stuffed animals were designed to be loved and befriended.
Luke, on the other hand, is best friends with his Eukalele - Hernando, the Red.
Hernando even has front-seat privelages over humans in his car.
Luke is thusly quite insane. Therefore, there is no end to his awesomeness.

KOSHI
CULT NAME: Lady Koshizu, the One Who Didn't Join
AGE: Crutaceous period
SEX: Female
LOCATION: Britain!
TASTE IN CLOTHES: She wears leg-warmers. ^.^
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: Apparently, Yoshis.
HAIR: She is a reptile.
OCCUPATION: Unemployed and loving it.
"Fancy a spo' o' tea, guvna?"
Koshi is Proffate's favourite UK despondent correspondent.
She has a wonderfully outdated sense of fashion, favouring clothes from the
eighties (often coloured hot pink) and wears one of those crazy berets with the
badges all over them. In fact, in that respect, she's a bit like the female 80's
counterpart to Konstable, who is stylistically a throwback to the 60's, with his
Beatles bag covered in badges and head-to-toe hippy gear.
Koshi is a wizard (or witch, whatever) with OpenCanvas and Painter, two programs
Proffate couldn't use if the knowledge were pounded into his brain with a
sledgehammer; and for that, she wins his utmost respect.
Koshi tends to have rather frequent mood-swings; happy one day, sad the next,
and often for rather trivial reasons.
"Oh, my grandmother died. Hey, I won the lottery!"
Well, not really to that scale, but yeah.
You get the idea.

v

KOMPEPPEROCHU
CULT NAME: The One And Only Ginger Albro
AGE: DAMN FINE.
SEX: Female
LOCATION: COLOUR HARD-O.
TASTE IN CLOTHES: FINGER ARRRRMOURRR
FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: SPACE and adventures in
them.
HAIR: PHILLIPINO EBONY
OCCUPATION: CEO of Dreadfist INC.
Creator of Ouchmaster 3000 and a louder screamer than Devin Townsend.
Her powers of deduction are legendary. If you say to her "HAY DJINN JAR HOW
MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP" she will say Eleven. Every time.  And if you
try to prove her wrong she will jab your eyes out with her lethal finger armour.
No one has ever proved her wrong.
It is a little known fact that Chuck Norris was once Ginger's student. But he left
because Ginger kept beating his ass down.
She only has one mortal weakness, but I am sworn to secrecy not to tell anyone.
It's definitely not SIlver.
If one were to attempt to describe Ginger Albro in three words or less, they would
fail because the answer would probably end up something like "what is wrong with
this bitch, I only said 'hi' and she roundhouse kicked me in the face! Don't just
stand there, help me pick up my teeth! AAAGH SHE'S MOLESTING M--" And then
the camera turns to static.

NOW WITH FLYING ROBOTS!

BECAUSE WHO DOESN'T LOVE A GOOD PUPPET SHOW!!

BECAUSE WHO DOESN'T LOVE A GOOD PUPPET SHOW!!

Q: Why have you taken so long to make Tashito?
A: LALALALALAAAH *Plugs ears with fingers*
Q: Why do you have so many jokes in the forms of
sprawling text FAQs or giant character profiles
that no one could ever possibly read unless they
took a screenshot or paused the animation?
A: What can I say, I'm a Simpsons fan.
Q: Seriously, what's up with your seething
vendetta against Owen Wilson?
A: He's a frigging retard!! Why does everyone
LIKE him so frickin' much!? D:<
Q: What's with the black bars?
A: Don't ask, lol.
Q: Don't you consider this FAQ a shortcut to save
the muss and fuss of having to just sit down and
animate another thirty seconds?
A: You're learning.
Q: What Doth Life?
A: Processing... Prooocessing...
Prooooooooocesssssing....
Q: Can you teach me how to use Flash?
A: Yeah! Step one: teach yourself, like I did. That
ends today's lesson.
Q: What is this crazy song playing in the
background? Did youmake it?? 8D
A: This song is Slash Dot Dash by Fatboy Slim.
And the song in Tashito Episode One is "I don't
feel like dancing" by Scissor Sisters. Jesus, don't
they have radios in the US?!
Q: So what's it like being Australian?
A: I have a better question: What's it like being
American? Do Americans wrestle aligators instead
of crocodiles? Do they drive "cars" to work instead
of riding kangaroos? Do they keep dogs as pets
instead of dingos? Sorry, all I know about is my
own wacky culture.
P.S. I AM AWESUM

236

1536

2276

3168

YUM YUM
YOU LOOK YUMMY!!
AH'M-A EATCHYOU!!

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Instance Names

"bar"Symbol 15 MovieClip Frame 1Symbol 3 MovieClip

Special Tags

FileAttributes (69)Timeline Frame 1Access local files only, Metadata not present, AS1/AS2.
Protect (24)Timeline Frame 10 bytes ""

Labels

"loaded"Symbol 15 MovieClip Frame 3




http://swfchan.com/12/58761/info.shtml
Created: 17/4 -2019 01:27:53 Last modified: 17/4 -2019 01:27:53 Server time: 22/12 -2024 04:03:43