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HT - Make a Zombie Movie.swf

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Flash #66649

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Text
<p align="left"><font face="Arial" size="30" color="#00ff00" letterSpacing="0.000000" kerning="1">Hello, I&apos;m JujubeLock</font></p>

<p align="left"><font face="Arial" size="30" color="#00ff00" letterSpacing="0.000000" kerning="1">And this is &quot;How To Make A Zombie <sbr />Movie&quot;</font></p>

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While I know Christmas time is usually
for stories about reindeers and snow,

All that shit is incredibly boring and
recycled.

How many god damn times to we have
to see the B B gun movie?

<p align="left"><font face="Arial" size="30" color="#00ff00" letterSpacing="0.000000" kerning="1">Fuck Red Rider.</font></p>

<p align="left"><font face="Arial" size="30" color="#00ff00" letterSpacing="0.000000" kerning="1">Instead I&apos;m going to show you how to <sbr />make recycled zombie movies.</font></p>

<p align="left"><font face="Arial" size="30" color="#00ff00" letterSpacing="0.000000" kerning="1">At least they have real guns in them.</font></p>

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The first thing a zombie movie needs is
an zombification origin.

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Traditionally, this is a disease or Haitian
voodoo.

But don't be afraid to think outside the
box...

Surely staring at the microwave too long

Eating copious amounts of Hostess
Twinkies...

and excessive exposure to Sarah
Palin...

can all lead to zombification.

Also, for a setting, you need someplace
with lots of guns.

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I recommend anywhere in the Southern
U.S.

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After all, it's their 2nd Amendment right
to bear WMDs,

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or else the deer population
would get out of hand.

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Next, you need to create lead character
sympathy.

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After all, you need the audience to not
want them killed.

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This can easily be done by making
the lead character a hot chick.

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"></p>

If choosing a character other than a hot
chick...

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<p align="left"></p>

>:(

he better at least be banging one.

<p align="left"></p>

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You may have noticed I made no ment-
ion of a plot.

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"></p>

This is because your audience doesn't
care about one.

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<p align="left"></p>

You easily remedy the need for a plot by
lots of gore,

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weapons, explosions, and
gratuitous sex and violence.

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"></p>

After all, your lead demographic
is desensitized white trash.

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"></p>

If your zombie movie lacks
any of these,

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"></p>

then you better start asking the
U.S. Treasury for a bailout.

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"></p>

That concludes how to make a zombie
movie.

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"></p>

Remember you are dealing with a genre
that has been beaten to death,

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<p align="left"></p>

so you will need to have some flair to
attract an audience.

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"></p>

And by flair I mean a complete dissocia-
tion with reality,

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and women with heaving bosoms.

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After all, you only need to be good
enough for people stupid enough...

<p align="left"></p>

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To pay $15 to see a movie, as opposed
to illegally download it.

<p align="left"></p>

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Goodnight Newgroundites!

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"><font face="Arial" size="40" color="#00ff00" letterSpacing="0.000000" kerning="1"> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The End</font></p><p align="left"></p><p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"><font face="Arial" size="40" color="#00ff00" letterSpacing="0.000000" kerning="1">A jujube lock production</font></p>

Copyright 2008
Visit www.locklegion.com

<p align="left"></p>

<p align="left"></p>

Made for LL Left4Dead Contest

ActionScript [AS1/AS2]

Frame 1
NewgroundsAPI.connectMovie(4668);
Frame 3320
Symbol 10 Button
on (release) { NewgroundsAPI.loadNewgrounds(); }
Symbol 60 Button
on (release) { _root.play(); }
Symbol 61 MovieClip Frame 25
stop();
Symbol 62 MovieClip Frame 1
_root.stop(); PercentLoaded = (_root.getBytesLoaded() / _root.getBytesTotal()) * 100; if (PercentLoaded != 100) { bar._xscale = PercentLoaded; } else { gotoAndStop ("loaded"); }
Symbol 62 MovieClip Frame 2
gotoAndPlay (1);
Symbol 238 MovieClip [__Packages.NewgroundsAPI] Frame 0
class NewgroundsAPI { static var tracker_id, host, version, debug, error_format, header_format, normal_format, link_format; function NewgroundsAPI () { } static function connectMovie(id) { if (!id) { SendError("Missing required 'id' parameter in NewgroundsAPI.connectMovie(id:Number)"); } else if (!tracker_id) { SendMessage("Connecting to API gateway..."); tracker_id = id; host = _url.split("/")[2].toLowerCase(); if (host.length < 1) { host = "localhost"; } var _local2 = new Object(); SendEvent(MOVIE_VIEWS); } } static function setMovieVersion(movie_version) { if (!movie_version) { SendError("Missing required 'version' in NewgroundsAPI.setMovieVersion(version:String)"); } else { version = movie_version; } } static function debugMode() { debug = true; } static function addCustomEvent(stat_id, stat_name) { if (!stat_id) { SendError("Missing required 'id' parameter in NewgroundsAPI.AddCustomEvent(id:Number, event_name:String)"); } else if (!stat_name) { SendError("Missing required 'event_name' parameter in NewgroundsAPI.AddCustomEvent(id:Number, event_name:String)"); } else { custom_events[stat_name] = CUSTOM_STATS + stat_id; SendMessage("Created custom event: " + stat_name); } } static function addCustomLink(stat_id, stat_name) { if (!stat_id) { SendError("Missing required 'id' parameter in NewgroundsAPI.AddCustomLink(id:Number, link_name:String)"); } else if (!stat_name) { SendError("Missing required 'link_name' parameter in NewgroundsAPI.AddCustomLink(id:Number, link_name:String)"); } else { custom_links[stat_name] = CUSTOM_STATS + stat_id; SendMessage((("Created custom link " + stat_id) + ": ") + stat_name); } } static function loadMySite() { SendLink(AUTHOR_SITE); } static function loadNewgrounds(special) { if (special) { var _local1 = {page:special}; } SendLink(NEWGROUNDS, _local1); } static function logCustomEvent(event_name) { if (!event_name) { SendError("Missing required 'event_name' parameter in NewgroundsAPI.logCustomEvent(event_name:String)"); } else if (!custom_events[event_name]) { SendError("Attempted to log undefined custom event: " + event_name); } else { SendEvent(custom_events[event_name]); } } static function loadCustomLink(link_name) { if (!link_name) { SendError("Missing required 'link_name' parameter in NewgroundsAPI.loadCustomLink(link_name:String)"); } else if (!custom_links[link_name]) { SendError("Attempted to open undefined custom link: " + link_name); } else { SendLink(custom_links[link_name]); } } static function getAdURL() { return(movie_options.ad_url); } static function getMovieURL() { if (movie_options.movie_url) { return(movie_options.movie_url); } return("Newgrounds.com"); } static function getNewVersionURL() { return((((((GATEWAY_URL + "?&id=") + tracker_id) + "&host=") + escape(host)) + "&stat=") + NEW_VERSION); } static function SendEvent(id) { SendStat(id, false); } static function SendLink(id, extra) { SendStat(id, true, extra); } static function ReadGatewayData(params) { for (var _local2 in params) { params[_local2] = unescape(params[_local2]); movie_options[_local2] = params[_local2]; } if (params.settings_loaded) { SendMessage("You have successfully connected to the Newgrounds API gateway!"); SendMessage(("Movie Identified as '" + movie_options.movie_name) + "'"); if (movie_options.message) { SendMessage(movie_options.message); } if (movie_options.ad_url) { SendMessage("Your movie has been approved to run Flash Ads"); onAdsApproved(movie_options.ad_url); } if (movie_options.movie_version and (movie_options.movie_version.toString() != version.toString())) { SendMessage("WARNING: The movie version configured in your API settings does not match this movie's version!"); onNewVersionAvailable(movie_options.movie_version, getMovieURL(), getNewVersionURL()); } if (movie_options.deny_host) { SendMessage("You have blocked 'localHost' in your API settings."); SendMessage("If you wish to test your movie you will need to remove this block."); onDenyHost(host, getMovieURL(), getNewVersionURL()); } if (movie_options.request_portal_url == 1) { var _local4 = (((GATEWAY_URL + "?&id=") + tracker_id) + "&portal_url=") + escape(_url); var _local3 = new XML(); _local3.ignoreWhite = true; _local3.load(_local4); } } else if (!movie_options.settings_loaded) { SendError("Could not establish connection to the API gateway."); } } static function SendStat(stat_id, open_in_browser, extra) { if (!tracker_id) { SendError("API calls cannot be made without a valid movie id."); SendError("Did you remember to add the \"NewgroundsAPI.connectMovie()\" code?"); } else { var _local7 = (((((GATEWAY_URL + "?&id=") + tracker_id) + "&host=") + escape(host)) + "&stat=") + stat_id; for (var _local9 in extra) { _local7 = _local7 + ((("&" + escape(_local9)) + "=") + escape(extra[_local9])); } trace(_local7); if (debug) { _local7 = _local7 + "&debug=1"; } if (open_in_browser) { getURL (_local7, "_blank"); } else { var _local10 = new XML(); _local10.ignoreWhite = true; _local10.onLoad = function (success) { var _local6 = new Object(); var _local3 = 0; while (_local3 < this.firstChild.childNodes.length) { var _local4 = this.firstChild.childNodes[_local3]; var _local5 = _local4.nodeName; var _local2 = _local4.attributes.value; if (_local2 == Number(_local2)) { _local2 = Number(_local2); } _local6[_local5] = _local2; _local3++; } NewgroundsAPI.ReadGatewayData(_local6); }; _local10.load(_local7); } } } static function SendError(msg) { trace("[NEWGROUNDS API ERROR] :: " + msg); } static function SendMessage(msg) { trace("[NEWGROUNDS API] :: " + msg); } static function InitTextFormats() { if (!error_format) { error_format = new TextFormat(); error_format.font = "Arial Black"; error_format.size = 48; error_format.color = 16711680 /* 0xFF0000 */; } if (!header_format) { header_format = new TextFormat(); header_format.font = "Arial Black"; header_format.size = 24; header_format.color = 16777215 /* 0xFFFFFF */; } if (!normal_format) { normal_format = new TextFormat(); normal_format.font = "Arial"; normal_format.bold = true; normal_format.size = 12; normal_format.color = 16777215 /* 0xFFFFFF */; } if (!link_format) { link_format = new TextFormat(); link_format.color = 16776960 /* 0xFFFF00 */; link_format.underline = true; } } static function onNewVersionAvailable(version, movie_url, redirect_url) { InitTextFormats(); var _local2 = new Object(); _local2.x = Stage.width / 2; _local2.y = Stage.height / 2; _root.createEmptyMovieClip("NGAPI_new_version_overlay", _root.getNextHighestDepth()); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.lineStyle(1, 0, 100); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.beginFill(0, 70); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.moveTo(-10, -10); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.lineTo(-10, 1000); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.lineTo(1000, 1000); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.lineTo(1000, -10); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.lineTo(-10, -10); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.endFill(); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.lineStyle(10, 0, 100); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.beginFill(51); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.moveTo(_local2.x - 240, _local2.y - 120); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.lineTo(_local2.x + 240, _local2.y - 120); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.lineTo(_local2.x + 240, _local2.y + 80); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.lineTo(_local2.x - 240, _local2.y + 80); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.lineTo(_local2.x - 240, _local2.y - 120); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.endFill(); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.createEmptyMovieClip("exit", 1000); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.lineStyle(2, 39423, 100); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.beginFill(0, 50); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.moveTo(_local2.x + 210, _local2.y - 110); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.lineTo(_local2.x + 230, _local2.y - 110); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.lineTo(_local2.x + 230, _local2.y - 90); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.lineTo(_local2.x + 210, _local2.y - 90); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.lineTo(_local2.x + 210, _local2.y - 110); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.endFill(); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.moveTo(_local2.x + 214, _local2.y - 106); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.lineTo(_local2.x + 226, _local2.y - 94); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.moveTo(_local2.x + 226, _local2.y - 106); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.lineTo(_local2.x + 214, _local2.y - 94); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.onMouseUp = function () { if (_root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.exit.hitTest(_root._xmouse, _root._ymouse)) { _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.removeMovieClip(); } }; var _local3 = (("Version " + version) + " is now available at:") + newline; var _local5 = _local3.length; _local3 = _local3 + movie_url; var _local4 = _local3.length; _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.createTextField("mouseblocker", 99, -10, -10, 1000, 1000); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.createTextField("newversion", 100, _local2.x - 210, _local2.y - 90, 400, 80); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.newversion.text = "New Version Available!"; _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.newversion.setTextFormat(header_format); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.createTextField("message", 101, (Stage.width - 400) / 2, Stage.height / 2, 400, 40); _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.message.text = _local3; _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.message.multiline = true; _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.message.wordWrap = true; _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.message.html = true; _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.message.setTextFormat(normal_format); link_format.url = redirect_url; _root.NGAPI_new_version_overlay.message.setTextFormat(_local5, _local4, link_format); } static function onDenyHost(hostname, movie_url, redirect_url) { InitTextFormats(); _root.createEmptyMovieClip("NGAPI_deny_host_overlay", _root.getNextHighestDepth()); _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.lineStyle(20, 0, 100); _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.beginFill(6684672); _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.moveTo(0, 0); _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.lineTo(Stage.width, 0); _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.lineTo(Stage.width, Stage.height); _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.lineTo(0, Stage.height); _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.lineTo(0, 0); _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.endFill(); var _local2 = ("This movie has not been approved for use on " + hostname) + "."; _local2 = _local2 + "\r\rFor an aproved copy, please visit:\r"; var _local4 = _local2.length; _local2 = _local2 + movie_url; var _local3 = _local2.length; _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.createTextField("mousekill", 100, 0, 0, Stage.width, Stage.height); _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.createTextField("error", 101, (Stage.width - 400) / 2, (Stage.height / 2) - 100, 400, 200); _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.error.text = "ERROR!"; _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.error.setTextFormat(error_format); _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.createTextField("message", 102, (Stage.width - 400) / 2, Stage.height / 2, 400, 200); _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.message.text = _local2; _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.message.multiline = true; _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.message.wordWrap = true; _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.message.html = true; _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.message.setTextFormat(normal_format); link_format.url = redirect_url; _root.NGAPI_deny_host_overlay.message.setTextFormat(_local4, _local3, link_format); } static function isInstalled() { return(true); } static function onAdsApproved(ad_url) { } static var movie_options = new Object(); static var custom_events = new Object(); static var custom_links = new Object(); static var MOVIE_VIEWS = 1; static var AUTHOR_SITE = 2; static var NEWGROUNDS = 3; static var NEW_VERSION = 4; static var CUSTOM_STATS = 50; static var GATEWAY_URL = "http://www.ngads.com/gateway.php"; }

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Special Tags

FileAttributes (69)Timeline Frame 1Access local files only, Metadata not present, AS1/AS2.
ExportAssets (56)Timeline Frame 1Symbol 238 as "__Packages.NewgroundsAPI"

Labels

"loaded"Symbol 62 MovieClip Frame 3




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Created: 11/4 -2019 22:30:38 Last modified: 11/4 -2019 22:30:38 Server time: 22/12 -2024 23:30:09