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Sick Joke Collection II.swf

This is the info page for
Flash #71556

(Click the ID number above for more basic data on this flash file.)


Text
T

TH

THE

THE S

THE SI

THE SIC

THE SICK

THE SICK J

THE SICK JO

THE SICK JOK

THE SICK JOKE

THE SICK JOKE C

THE SICK JOKE CO

THE SICK JOKE COL

THE SICK JOKE COLL

THE SICK JOKE COLLE

THE SICK JOKE COLLEC

THE SICK JOKE COLLECT

THE SICK JOKE
COLLECTI

THE SICK JOKE
COLLECTIO

THE SICK JOKE
COLLECTION

THE SICK JOKE
COLLECTION
I

THE SICK JOKE
COLLECTION
II

PLAY

II

CHOOSE A CATEGORY...

Cocks

Famous People

Incest

Nationalities

Sexism

Weird

Credits

C

COCKS

Q. What do you have if you have a green ball in one hand, and a
green ball in the other hand?
A. The undivided attention of the Incredible Hulk.

Menu

Next Joke

Two men are caught by cannibals who offer them a choice
between being snapped on the balls with a rubber band, and
death. The first one decides nothing is worse than death, so he
gets his balls snapped with a rubber band. The second man
heard the horrific screaming and chose death.
Little did he know the death penalty of this particular tribe was
snapping on the balls with a rubber band till death.

An American man loves his wife so much he wants to get her name on his
cock, so whenever he gets an erection he sees his wife's name. So, he gets
the tattoo, whenever his penis is not erect you can only properly see the first
and the last letters of his wife’s name - W and Y. His wife's name being
Wendy.
One day the man is at a baseball game and goes to the toilet. Next to him is a
black man, on his penis the man notices the letters W and Y. So the man asks
the black guy, 'is your wife's name Wendy too?'
The black man says 'No, my cock says Welcome to America, have a nice day.'

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were
sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Sam, who was about to be
cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Sam had the longest dick he had ever seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Sam," said the mortician, "but I can't send you off to be cremated with a
tremendously huge dick like this. It has to be saved for posterity."
And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's distinguishing member. The
coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife.
"I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase.
"Oh, my God!" she screamed, "Sam is dead!"

Three couples went out camping. The three husbands stayed in one tent
and the three wives stayed in the other.
At about 3 in the morning, Bob woke up and yelled, "Wow, unbelievable!"
Bill woke up and asked, "What's going on?"
Bob said, "I've got to go to the other tent and find my wife."
"How come?"
"To have sex! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I've ever had in my
life!"
After a pause, Bill said, "Do you want me to come with you?"
"Hell, no. Why would I want you to do that?"
"Because that's my dick you're holding."

Q. What's long, hard and full of semen?
A. A submarine.

Q. What do you call it when you stick your willy in a puddle of
vomit?
A. Fucking sick.

"Mummy, mummy, my best freind Jeremy has got a willie like a
peanut."
"Do you mean it's small?"
"No it's salty."

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, "Where in the hell have you been?"
Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a Fifty Pound note on my privates," he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth
would an accountant get a Fifty Pound note tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, for one...I like to watch my money grow.
"Two...once in a while I like to play with my money.
"Three...I like how money feels in my hand.
"And, lastly...instead of you going out wasting money on shopping, you can stay right here at
home and blow Fifty quid anytime you want."
Larry is recovering nicely in the hospital...

O

Herb decided to propose to Sandi. However, Herb felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit
that he had a deformity. Herb looked Sandi in the eyes and said...
"I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we
are married."
She said, "Yes, I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size penis."
Sandi and Herb got married and they could not wait for the honeymoon.
Herb whisked Sandi off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, holding one another... As
Sandi put her hands in Herb's pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room!
She said, "You told me your penis was the size of an infant!"
"Yes, it is..." exclaimed Herb, "8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long."

A teenage girl asks her mum "Is it true that babies come out of
where boys put their penis?" "Yes" says the mum. "Oh shit."
says the girl ........."Won't that break my jaw?"

FAMOUS PEOPLE

Bin Laden sent out a new T.V message to prove he was still alive.
"Manchester United were shit on saturday!"
British police have dismissed it. It could have been recorded any time in
the last eight years.

David and Victoria Beckham are sitting watching TV with their
children. David notices Victoria's legs are open and she's not
wearing pants. He says to her "Victoria, close your legs... the K-I-
D-S can see your cunt!"

Q. What would Elvis be doing now if he was alive?
A. Scratching on his coffin lid.

The Advertising Standards Authority has ordered an Australian
sunscreen manufacturer, whose products were endorsed by Steve
Irwin, to pull their adverts stating that their claim "protects from
all harmful rays" was misleading.

Tom Cruise gets up one day. Looking in the mirror, he's admiring his body. "Mmm, looking good today Tom," he
says. He then gives his pecs a little squeeze- "Mmmm, feeling good Tom." He suddenly notices a funny smell,
takes a whiff of himself and almost chokes- "Fuck, I smell awful!"
So he goes to talk to Katie. "Katie," he says, "there's something wrong with me!"
"Well you look good," says Katie, walking toward him, "and you feel good," she says giving him a little
squeeze, then suddenly "Fuck Tom, you smell fucking awful! Get to the doctor!"
So Tom goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, there's something seriously wrong!"
"Well, take a seat and I'll examine you," says the doctor. "Hmmm. Well, you look good Tom...... and you feel
pretty good..... oh dear God you smell awful!" So the doctor goes over to his medical books to make a diagnosis.
"Do you know what's wrong with me Doctor?"
"Lets see Tom. So you look good, you feel good but you smell awful........ ah yes, here we are."
"You're a cunt."

Q. What's the difference between Britney Spears and the
Panama canal?
A. One is a busy ditch....

INCEST

A man walks into a chemist and asks the assistant for some
birth control pills for his daughter. The assistant asks the man,
"Is your daughter sexually active?"
The man replies, "No, she just lies there like her mother."

A guy rings his boss at work and says, "Look, I'm really sorry, but I
can`t come to work today. I'm sick".
"Sick!" screams his boss "Sick! This is the tenth time this month.
Exactly how sick are you?"
"Well", he replies. "I’m in bed with my 9 year old sister."

17 year old Susan asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
Her dad says, "Sure honey. but only if you suck my cock first.
You know the rules..."
Susan sighs and drops to her knees. Dad whips his cock out
and she gets to work. Instantly, she recoils in disgust.
"Eurrghh Daddy, your cock tastes like shit!" says Susan.
"I know honey," he replies, "your brother wanted to borrow
twenty pounds..."

Q. What's the worst thing about losing your virginity?
A. Seeing your dad naked.

NATIONALITIES

A young black lad asked his dad, "Dad, I have the biggest dick
in the third grade. Is it because I'm black?"
The dad replied "No you dumbass, it's because you're 17!"

Manchester Police are looking for a racist attacker.
I called them. Apparently it's not a job advert.

These black jokes are really out of order. I never treated black
people like this, even when I was young. When I was a kid my
best friend was black until my dad sold him.

THE PENIS CHART
1. Small
2.Medium
3. Large
4. Oh my god...
5. FUCKING HELL
6. Does that come in white?

Q. How do you get rid of the red spot on an Asian's head?
A. Switch off the laser-sight on your gun.

SEXISM

I told the wife I was going to get her diamonds for Christmas. She said
nothing would please her more, so I took them back to the shop.

A young boy asked his mother why brides always wear white so his
mother told him that it is a sign of purity. Just to be sure he asked his
father the same question and his father told him that kitchen appliances
always come in white.

Just got a brand new fishing rod and reel for the wife.
Best swap I've ever made!

WIFE: "If I died, would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Perhaps."
WIFE: "You would? Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house?"
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewellery?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she,d want her own."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left handed."

Q. Why have we never sent a woman to the moon?
A. Because it doesn't need cleaning.

Q. Why are Hurricanes named after women?
A. Because when they come, they're wild and wet, and when they
go they take your house and your car.

Q

WEIRD

Q: What does a woman's arse hole and a 9 volt battery have in
common?
A: You know it's wrong but you can't help putting your tongue on
it.

Q. How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q. What's grosser than gross?
A. You dream you are eating chocolate pudding, but when you
wake up, there's a spoon stuck up your ass.

A woman is pregenant with triplets, when she gets shot three times. The babies are okay,
but each has a bullet in them.
Sixteen years pass. The first daughter comes in and tells the mother that she found a
bullet when she went to the toilet. The seconds daughter comes in and says the same
thing, so the mother explains the story.
The son comes in. He's about to say something, when they interupt and say "We know,
you found a bullet in the toilet."
"No, I was having a wank and I shot the dog."

Q. What's the worst thing about fucking a five year old?
A. Getting blood on your clown suit.

Q. What's harder than nailing a baby to a wall?
A. My cock while I'm doing it.

Q. What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
A. Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other ones a
watermelon.

Q. What's funnier than a flying baby?
A. Catching it on a pitchfork.

Q. What's small and red and sits in the corner getting smaller and
smaller?
A. A dwarf combing his hair with a potato peeler.

Flash by Sidorio
Orginial Idea by MrFinland
Jokes from all over the place
Music by Dr Demonto
Thanks to all the sick fucks who enjoyed this.

FACT
This flash was made by forty year old
pedophiles.

BACK

FACT
Although this flash is not copyrighted, we are
not above sending a team of burly black men to
your house to cut off your genitals. If you steal
it, of course.

FACT
This flash was made in two and a half hours.

FACT
This flash has stripped you of your entry into
Heaven.

WEIRD

"What animal is this?" asked the teacher, holding up a picture
of a cow. All the children said a cow. She did it again with a
horse. All the children said a horse. However, when she held up
a deer, nobody answered.  "It's what your mother calls your
father." said the teacher. Jimmy put his hand up.
"Horny Big Dick?"

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http://swfchan.com/15/71556/info.shtml
Created: 9/4 -2019 06:41:09 Last modified: 9/4 -2019 06:41:09 Server time: 23/12 -2024 03:58:57