swfchan: stuckincraw homestar.swf (info)

Text

the homestar runner

gets something stuck in his craw

A CHILDREN'S BOOK
BY MIKE & CRAIG

Everyone loves The Homestar Runner.
He is a terrific athlete.

Once a time, he was in the field
doing some yard work.

"This yard work is hard work!"
quipped The Homestar Runner.

Strong Bad and his The Cheat
rolled up and started talking smack.

"You look dumb and stuff!
Doing yardwork is only for the loseriest of losers!"

The Homestar Runner was saddened by
this bit of news and felt ashamed.

"I never want to be a loser again!"

"I never want to be a loser again!" he
said and somersaulted away.

He somersaulted around the world 50 times
and only stopped because he was really tired.

"Phew!" said The Homestar
Runner.

Just then, it felt like a small animal tried
to burst out of The Homestar Runner's craw.

"That is unsightly and make it go
away!" shrieked Strong Sad.

"Something is stuck in my craw!"
declared The Homestar Runner.

For days upon days, he slinked around town trying
to hide whatever it was that was stuck in his craw.

One day he put a wig on it.

"That's a nice wig ya got on your craw growth
job there Homestar Runguy!" pronounced Coach Zee.

Another day, he painted it green and
painted some stripes on it.

"Man! When is that nasty thing
gonna go away-way?!" queried Bubs.

Finally, he asked Strong Sad what to do.

"Sensible people solve their problems with words,
not disguises," advised Strong Sad.

So The Homestar Runner tried talking to
his craw lump.

"Why don't you just go away?"

"Why don't you just go away?"
But it didn't answer.

"I just wish I knew where you came from."

"I just wish I knew where you came from."
Still, no answer.

Just then, Strong Bad and The Cheat walked up
and started laughing their rear ends off.

"Ha ha ha ha! That guy is talking to a thing that's
not a person!" cackled Strong Bad with sort of a nose.

"Hey, you leave him outta this!"

Right about that time, the thing
stuck in his craw popped out!

"Lands End!" yelped The Homestar Runner.

The craw object, or crawbject, unfurled
and was revealed to be...

A red shirt with a big white star!

"That is one pointy duck!"
said the smartest person in the world.

"Don't you look a sight," said Bubs.

"Now I can truly see that you're a
terrific airthlete," realized Coach Zee.

"I couldn't have done it without my craw!!"
said The Homestar Runner.

Then he somersaulted to Mars and brought
them all back meatball subs.

"I still hate you and later on, you gonna
get cut," threatened tuff-as-nails Strong Bad.

"Oh, Strong Bad!"

"Ding!"

Cave
Quest

So there you have it Mondy. That's
why I always wear leaky boots to
thrift stores and real
estate seminars. Don't you
wish you could too?

the strong sad

wets yonder bed

BACK

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