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<div style="position:absolute;top:-99px;left:-99px;"><img src="http://swfchan.com:57475/52048352?noj=FRM52048352-22DC" width="1" height="1"></div>

You've got to be shifting me.swf

This is the info page for
Flash #26978

(Click the ID number above for more basic data on this flash file.)


Text
<p align="center"><font face="Arial" size="56" color="#000000" letterSpacing="0.000000" kerning="0"><a href="http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/" target = "_blank"><b>__</b></a></font></p>

<p align="center"><font face="Arial" size="11" color="#060606" letterSpacing="0.000000" kerning="0"><a href="http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/" target = "_blank"><b>ABS</b></a></font></p>

You've got to be shifting me

by Sam and Wendel

Did you know?

If you bought a $1
McDonald's
hamburger for every
person in China...

it would cost you
$1.3 billion.
Plus tax.
And ketchup.

The 25 percent of
people in China with
the lowest IQs
exceed the
population of North
America.

Translation for
teachers:

They have more
stupid kids...
than we have kids.

Translation for
German teachers:

Da hört die einfache
Klassifizierung auch
schon auf.
Unmöglich in ein
Genre einzuordnen.

Translation into
farty noises:

Pfffffft fart fart
pffff FARTpffFFFFT

By the year 2057, the
Netherlands will still
be the world's largest
country of Dutch
speakers...

unless China starts
speaking Dutch...

in which case China
will be the world's
largest country of
Dutch speakers.

If all the jobs in the United
States were exported to
China, every person in the
world would have, on
average, 23 pairs of shitty
shoes

CHINA

EARTH

SCALE DRAWING

If you took every
episode of Mind of
Mencia and showed
it to Chinese People
in the year 2023,

they would
understand it
because by that time
many of them would
speak English...

but it still wouldn't
be funny.

If India and China
were one country,
that country would
have an even larger
population.

During the course of
this presentation,
while you are being
treated to some
wonderful Scottish
folk music...

244 babies will be
conceived in China.

That's a little more
than a liter of
successful semen.

A little over a
Nalgene bottle.

If all the people in China
were stacked one on top
of the other, they'd nearly
reach the height of a
normal human.

Name these countries:

China

China.

INDIA

Haha, fooled
you...

China...

in 1900.

If you stacked all
the men in China
on top of each
other, naked...

eventually they
would all have AIDS.

The man in China
with the
biggest penis...

must have a really,
really big penis.

India is big.

China is big.

Asia is home to big countries.

Big countries Asia has...

like China...

and India...

they have more PEOPLE...

than the UNITED STATES...

of AMERICA.

If all of Northern Africa
and much of Europe
were one country, it
would also present us
with incredible facts.

The US Department of
Labor estimates that
today's learner will
have 10-14 hats...

by age 38.

According to the US
Department of Labor, 1 out of 4
workers today is working for a
company for whom they have
been emplyed for less than 1
year.

Betcha didn't know that, fuckwit!

According to former Secretary of
Education Richard Riley...

"I've got bananas in mah pants!"

(He had a stroke)
:(

The U.S. is 20th in the
world for online wooden
shoe purchases...

Luxembourg just passed us.

Nintendo invested more than
$140 million in research and
development in 2002 alone.

The U.S. Government spent
less than one percent of that
amount on education
research...

in 1900...

and 1901...

COMBINED.

The Federal Government spent
0 dollars in 1995...

telling people how big China
and India are.

If MySpace were a planet, it
would be the second largest in
the solar system.  After Earth.

And it would have EVEN MORE
wooden shoe orders than
Luxembourg.

Google is asked over 2.7
billion questions each month...

such as "boobs?"
or "asian porn?"

To whom were these
questions addressed B.G.
(before the internet)?

In the language of the
Eskimos, there are over
540,000 ways to say "snow."

That's MORE THAN 10
times as many as
Shakespeare had.

It is estimated that a
week's worth of the New
York Times contains
more information than a
person was likely to
come across in a lifetime
in the 18th century...

however, a week's worth
of life in the 18th century
was much more likely to
encounter cow shift than
a LIFETIME of the New
York Times.

By 2023 we will be able to
push 10 billion trillion
wooden shoes down one
strand of fiber optic cable
every second.

Times one thousand million.

Predictions are that by 3621,
ePaper will be cheaper than
regular paper...

but not cheaper than
construction paper.

ePaper is made when
eLumberjacks cut down eTrees
and send them to an
ePapermill, which grinds them
up into an ePulp and then
ePresses them into the final
eProduct.

The 100 dollar edible laptop
project is expecting to ship
between 50 to 100 million
edible laptops per year to
starving children in
underdeveloped countries.

One time, I saw a woman shoot a
ping pong ball out of her vagina.

By 2057, a $20 computer will be
able to shoot three billion ping
pong balls out of its vagina.

While technical predictions more
than 15 years out are hard to
make, predictions are that by
2049 a 1000 dollar computer will
exceed the computational
capabilities of the human race...

but it will still be used primarily
for pornography.

What does it all mean?

Shift happens.

Shift happens.

Who gives a shift?

Eat shift and die.

Your dog just shifted on the
carpet.
Aren't you going to clean it up?

Shiiftake mushrooms.

Let's all get shiftfaced.

Don't try too hard to fart and end
up shifting yourself!

You're a real shift head.

You've gotta be shifting me.

Replay

Replay

Replay

Did you find the easter egg?

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http://swfchan.com/6/26978/info.shtml
Created: 22/5 -2019 02:12:40 Last modified: 22/5 -2019 02:12:40 Server time: 22/12 -2024 09:58:17