STORY LOOP FURRY PORN GAMES C SERVICES [?] [R] RND POPULAR | Archived flashes: 229595 |
/disc/ · /res/ — /show/ · /fap/ · /gg/ · /swf/ | P0001 · P2595 · P5190 |
This is the info page for Flash #26978 |
<p align="center"><font face="Arial" size="56" color="#000000" letterSpacing="0.000000" kerning="0"><a href="http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/" target = "_blank"><b>__</b></a></font></p> |
<p align="center"><font face="Arial" size="11" color="#060606" letterSpacing="0.000000" kerning="0"><a href="http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/" target = "_blank"><b>ABS</b></a></font></p> |
You've got to be shifting me |
by Sam and Wendel |
Did you know? |
If you bought a $1 McDonald's hamburger for every person in China... |
it would cost you $1.3 billion. Plus tax. And ketchup. |
The 25 percent of people in China with the lowest IQs exceed the population of North America. |
Translation for teachers: |
They have more stupid kids... than we have kids. |
Translation for German teachers: |
Da hört die einfache Klassifizierung auch schon auf. Unmöglich in ein Genre einzuordnen. |
Translation into farty noises: |
Pfffffft fart fart pffff FARTpffFFFFT |
By the year 2057, the Netherlands will still be the world's largest country of Dutch speakers... |
unless China starts speaking Dutch... |
in which case China will be the world's largest country of Dutch speakers. |
If all the jobs in the United States were exported to China, every person in the world would have, on average, 23 pairs of shitty shoes |
CHINA |
EARTH |
SCALE DRAWING |
If you took every episode of Mind of Mencia and showed it to Chinese People in the year 2023, |
they would understand it because by that time many of them would speak English... |
but it still wouldn't be funny. |
If India and China were one country, that country would have an even larger population. |
During the course of this presentation, while you are being treated to some wonderful Scottish folk music... |
244 babies will be conceived in China. |
That's a little more than a liter of successful semen. |
A little over a Nalgene bottle. |
If all the people in China were stacked one on top of the other, they'd nearly reach the height of a normal human. |
Name these countries: |
China |
China. |
INDIA |
Haha, fooled you... |
China... |
in 1900. |
If you stacked all the men in China on top of each other, naked... |
eventually they would all have AIDS. |
The man in China with the biggest penis... |
must have a really, really big penis. |
India is big. |
China is big. |
Asia is home to big countries. |
Big countries Asia has... |
like China... |
and India... |
they have more PEOPLE... |
than the UNITED STATES... |
of AMERICA. |
If all of Northern Africa and much of Europe were one country, it would also present us with incredible facts. |
The US Department of Labor estimates that today's learner will have 10-14 hats... |
by age 38. |
According to the US Department of Labor, 1 out of 4 workers today is working for a company for whom they have been emplyed for less than 1 year. |
Betcha didn't know that, fuckwit! |
According to former Secretary of Education Richard Riley... |
"I've got bananas in mah pants!" |
(He had a stroke) :( |
The U.S. is 20th in the world for online wooden shoe purchases... |
Luxembourg just passed us. |
Nintendo invested more than $140 million in research and development in 2002 alone. |
The U.S. Government spent less than one percent of that amount on education research... |
in 1900... |
and 1901... |
COMBINED. |
The Federal Government spent 0 dollars in 1995... |
telling people how big China and India are. |
If MySpace were a planet, it would be the second largest in the solar system. After Earth. |
And it would have EVEN MORE wooden shoe orders than Luxembourg. |
Google is asked over 2.7 billion questions each month... |
such as "boobs?" or "asian porn?" |
To whom were these questions addressed B.G. (before the internet)? |
In the language of the Eskimos, there are over 540,000 ways to say "snow." |
That's MORE THAN 10 times as many as Shakespeare had. |
It is estimated that a week's worth of the New York Times contains more information than a person was likely to come across in a lifetime in the 18th century... |
however, a week's worth of life in the 18th century was much more likely to encounter cow shift than a LIFETIME of the New York Times. |
By 2023 we will be able to push 10 billion trillion wooden shoes down one strand of fiber optic cable every second. |
Times one thousand million. |
Predictions are that by 3621, ePaper will be cheaper than regular paper... |
but not cheaper than construction paper. |
ePaper is made when eLumberjacks cut down eTrees and send them to an ePapermill, which grinds them up into an ePulp and then ePresses them into the final eProduct. |
The 100 dollar edible laptop project is expecting to ship between 50 to 100 million edible laptops per year to starving children in underdeveloped countries. |
One time, I saw a woman shoot a ping pong ball out of her vagina. |
By 2057, a $20 computer will be able to shoot three billion ping pong balls out of its vagina. |
While technical predictions more than 15 years out are hard to make, predictions are that by 2049 a 1000 dollar computer will exceed the computational capabilities of the human race... |
but it will still be used primarily for pornography. |
What does it all mean? |
Shift happens. |
Shift happens. |
Who gives a shift? |
Eat shift and die. |
Your dog just shifted on the carpet. Aren't you going to clean it up? |
Shiiftake mushrooms. |
Let's all get shiftfaced. |
Don't try too hard to fart and end up shifting yourself! |
You're a real shift head. |
You've gotta be shifting me. |
Replay |
Replay |
Replay |
Did you find the easter egg? |
ActionScript [AS1/AS2]
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Special Tags
FileAttributes (69) | Timeline Frame 1 | Access local files only, Metadata not present, AS1/AS2. |
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