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Max Payne 3.swf

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Flash #50103

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Text
MAX PAYNE 3 - BY BURTON EARNY

THE FALLING
OVER OF
MAX PAYNE
PART 3

THE MAN AT THE TICKET OFFICE SAID
THERE WAS A SPECIAL TREAT TODAY.

A TREASURE HUNT, FUN FOR ALL
THE FAMILY, AND A SPECIAL PRIZE AT
THE END.  I THOUGHT THIS WAS
GREAT, I HADN'T WON A PRIZE SINCE
THAT JUMP-ROPE COMPETITION
WITH MUHAMMAD ALI.

I DECIDED TO GIVE IT A GO, TO SEE IF I COULD WIN.  FIRST, I
HAD TO GET TO A PHONE SOMEWHERE IN THE BUILDING,
AND ANSWER IT WITH "I'M A BIG HAIRY GORILLA."

I'M A BIG HAIRY
GORILLA.

ARE YOU
NOW?

NO.  I'M MAX PAYNE, FEDERAL
AGENT.  DID I WIN YET?

I'M AFRAID NOT MR. PAYNE,
WE'VE GOT A LOT MORE FOR
YOU TO DO.  FIRST, GO FIND
THE PIECE OF PAPER IN THE
NEXT ROOM, IT WILL TELL YOU
WHAT TO DO.

OKAY THEN.  WOW, I'VE
NEVER HAD SO MUCH
FUN IN MY LIFE.

GOOD
LUCK!

I PUT THE PHONE DOWN WITH A
'KLIK'.  I KNEW SOMETHING WAS
STRANGE WHEN I NOTICED SOUND
EFFECTS BEING SPELT WRONG.

I WAS CONFUSED IN THE NEXT ROOM BECAUSE THERE WERE THREE
SHEETS OF PAPER.  I ALMOST WENT INTO A STATE OF PANIC, BUT
REALISED THEY WERE ALL THE SAME.

AYEIS… ASUR… ESAYER… I COULDN'T
PRONOUNCE THE WORD ON THE PAPER.

THE TREASURE HUNT LED ME
OUTSIDE.  IT WAS STILL REALLY COLD.

IT TOOK THREE SECONDS FOR MY
ASS TO GO NUMB.

TO MAKE THIS PART OF THE HUNT MORE FUN, I DECIDED
TO RUN AROUND DOING JAMES BOND IMPRESSIONS.

SO, FROSTY THE SNOWMAN…
WE MEET AGAIN.

JAMES BOND GOT BORING AFTER A WHILE,
SO I CARRIED ON WITH THE HUNT.

THE SNOW WAS REAL PRETTY…
IT MADE ME WANT TO WRITE
MY NAME IN IT WITH PEE.

I ALMOST DID UNTIL I REMEMBERED THE TIME I GOT IT
FROZEN TO A LAMPPOST.  I NEVER QUITE REMEMBER
HOW IT HAPPENED, BUT IT STUNG LIKE HELL FOR WEEKS.

I WENT TO FIND FRIENDS TO HELP ME...

HO… TEL… THIS WAS THE PLACE.

I NEVER QUITE UNDERSTOOD
WHY THE OWNER WENT WITH A
NAME AS BORING AS 'HOTEL'.  I
WOULD HAVE CALLED IT 'MEGA
HOTEL'.

I SUPPOSE THE TRAMPS INSIDE
DESTROYED MY DREAMS OF
MEGA HOTEL.

STILL, MAYBE I COULD BUILD MY
OWN: 'THE MAX PAYNE MEGA
HOTEL'.  NAH, SCREW IT.

I MET UP WITH
THE GUYS.

HEY MAX,
SHOW HIM YER
PSYCHIC THING!

YEAH, WHAT AM
I THINKING?

HMM… YOU'RE
THINKING "WHAT IF
CLINT EASTWOOD WAS
IN 'THE MATRIX'?"

DO YOU FEEL LUCKY PUNK?  WELL, DO YA?
IT'S NOT WHETHER I FEEL LUCKY OR NOT,
IT'S IF I BELIEVE THAT FATE WILL CAUSE LUCK
WITHIN ME TO PREVAIL OVER ALL
PROBLEMS I ENCOUNTER.

ANYWAY, WHAT
ARE YOU TWINS
UP TO TONIGHT?

YOU THINK WE'RE
TWINS?

NAH WE AINT TWINS, MAX,
WE'RE BOYFRIENDS.

WE'VE JUST BEEN
HAVIN ANAL IN
THE CORNER.

I SUDDENLY FELT VERY SICK.
THAT WAS AN EXTRA DETAIL I
DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW.

I GOT NOTHING AGAINST THEIR SEXUALITY, BUT TO FIND OUT THAT THEY'VE BEEN
SPENDING THE EVENING CHECKING EACH OTHERS' PLUMBING, AND GIVING EACH
OTHER A PAIN IN THE BRONX WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE A SAINT INTO HITLER.

I THREW THEM BOTH OUT
OF THE WINDOW.

INCIDENTALLY, THE NEXT CLUE
WAS WRITTEN ON A PIECE OF
PAPER IN THE ROOM: "LOOK
AT THE DARTBOARD".

I COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT, SO I
DECIDED TO PLAY DARTS WHILE I
THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

SUDDENLY IT HIT ME:  THE DARTBOARD
LOOKED LIKE A ROULETTE WHEEL, SO
MAYBE I SHOULD GO TO A CASINO OF
SOME SORT.

THERE WAS A PICTURE OF VINNIE
GOGNITTI ON THE BOARD, AND IT KEPT
GETTING IN THE WAY OF THE DARTS.

THE NOTE HAD MORE WRITTEN ON IT:  "YOU
MUST FIND THE ROOM HE IS IN, IT SHOULD
BE ROOM 313!  GOOD LUCK, TREASURE
HUNTER!"

I DECIDED TO HEAD TO THE NEAREST CASINO,
TO ROOM 313.  I WAS SO EXCITED I COULD
BARELY CONTAIN MYSELF.

THE CASINO WAS REALLY COOL.
IT HAD A LEGO MODEL OF THE
EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.

I LOVED LEGO.  I ONE DAY
HOPED TO BE GOOD ENOUGH
TO MAKE ONE MYSELF.

I FOUND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY, AND
DECIDED TO TAKE A SNEAKY SWIG, TO
KEEP ME WARM ON THE TREASURE HUNT.

DAMN.  I HAD FORGOTTEN WHAT
THE ROOM NUMBER WAS.  I
DECIDED TO GO INTO THE CLOSEST
ONE I COULD FIND, BECAUSE
WHISKEY ALWAYS WENT STRAIGT
THROUGH ME.

BY AN INSANE COINCIDENCE, I
CAME OUT OF THE BATHROOM
IN ROOM 313 TO FIND THE NEXT
CLUE.

"YO SWEETIE PIE, I'LL SEE YA TONIGHT
IN THE BAR.  DON'T FORGET TO WEAR
Y-FRONTS!  LOVE, CANDY DAWN.".

THIS CLUE SEEMED TO BE WORDED IN
A STRANGE WAY, BUT I DECIDED TO
KEEP GOING.

I KNEW I HAD TO FIND THE BAR, BUT
FIRST, I NEEDED TO FIND SOME Y-
FRONTS IN THIS ROOM.

COMFORTABLE IN MY NEW UNDERWEAR, I SET OFF
FOR THE BAR.

I THREW MY OLD PAIR AWAY, AS I
KNEW I WOULDN'T NEED THEM.

REMEMBER KIDS, LITTERING IS WRONG!
SO DON'T BE A PAYNE!
PICK IT UP!

I GOT LOST IN THE GREAT
LABYRINTH OF THE CASINO'S
APARTMENTS.

I ENDED UP IN SOME WOMAN'S
ROOM.  SHE KEPT A WEIRD DIARY.

"THURSDAY, 10 O'CLOCK, BLOW JOB
FOR RICO.  REMEMBER TO BRING
MENTOS FOR AFTERWARDS."  I
DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS ANOTHER
CLUE, BUT IT SEEMED CRYPTIC, AND I
DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANT.

WHAT WAS MORE CONFUSING IS
THAT THE BED HAD A COIN SLOT
NEXT TO IT.

I PUT A COIN IN, AND THE BED STARTED
TO VIBRATE.  I DIDN'T KNOW WHY THIS
HAPPENED, AS IT WOULD PROBABLY
KEEP YOU AWAKE.

TO BE
CONTINUED..

BY BURTON EARNY.
MUSIC FROM MAX PAYNE.

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http://swfchan.com/11/50103/info.shtml
Created: 11/8 -2019 07:41:07 Last modified: 11/8 -2019 07:41:07 Server time: 05/12 -2025 13:30:57