swfchan: log_lines2.swf (info)

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Don’t punish me for loving you.
That’s the court’s job.

I’ve still got plenty of ribs, God!
Make more women!

Some days,
your cock just seems to stare at you

You’d be surprised how many penises
there are in ‘lost property’

If love is forever,
then it doesn’t matter
what you pay per hour

Technically, you never stop
touching yourself

It’s a bit like golf,
but only a little bit

looking for A god
who won’t discriminate by creed

Show us your pink bits,
not that I’m racist

Suddenly I’ve lost interest in porn
and gained it in wiping up jism

the more you say ‘epic’ the less it means

Celebrating those happy moments when
the penis is an internal organ

You should cosplay this,
if only for the hand-jobs

No erectile dysfunction yet,
Touch wood

to all the girls I’ve loved before,
and the boys I loved after

Don’t fear God’s love.
He hasn’t got anyone pregnant in 2000 years

Presumably Spiderman’s semen
is very sticky indeed

Highball glasses. Why are they called that?

Balancing hope for a better world
against the desire to fuck everything

You’ve got that look in your eye.
But then I’d hardly expect
to see it in your mouth

making man-pesto with the meat pestle

Just because you put it on food
doesn’t make it a condiment

am I too anal about sex?

No, it’s not terribly useful as armour.

pay no attention to
the stains behind
the man behind the curtain

many parts of my body are still virgins

the mountain can’t flaw my argument,
so it repeats what I say in a funny voice

when a song mentions 'arms'
I like to shout 'vagina'

I don’t want to disrespect the dead,
but if alive, that guy's a cunt.

Sperm count down but sperm size up.
I think they've been eating each other.

I made something for you, honey

it’s not really escapism, is it?
It’s day leave at best.

love conquers anything,
up to a point.

The penis: if it’s not evil, why did
they get H.R. Geiger to design it?

want to see amateurs in home-made
crowns pretend to open kindergartens?
barelyregal.com

adult movies
adult bus ticket
adult diabetes

Think of it as juicing an ugly fruit

I’ve stooped so low I can’t reach your tits

I feel part responsible for
the mess you made in my pants

I always steal the honey,
but those stupid bees keep making more.

some day, this very moment
may feature in a flashback.

I have a secret.
A dark, furry secret with big teeth.
Less a secret, really- more a bear.

anything more than 500 years old-
probably evil

more griping from the
disenchanted forest

Compare pornography now to 50 years ago,
then extrapolate 50 years into the future.
...that shit's nasty

No way will I give peace a chance.
not after how it left the place last time.

DIY for those without tools

Whatever you look at
while you masturbate is porn.
The bedroom ceiling, for instance

We’re doing it for the money.
When the money arrives, we’ll
start doing it with the money.

seriously, what is a 'brink'?

Exploring the alien sensuality of sea mammals
by ignoring them completely.

educational in ways you can't use.
just like trigonometry.

recumbent yet erect

'hot' as a synonym for 'sexy'
is less common from people
who've been on fire.

the mustard burns a bit, but it
accentuates my resemblance to ham.

All models are over 18.
Or over 21 where required by law

people who choose not to stay at home and
masturbate constantly- what’s with them?

careful where you point that

It breaches, glistening, from the brine
then vanishes into the deep.
I think it's a whale.

not from round here,
depending on how big 'round' is

The individual can be divided
but it’s not pretty

Is there a difference between
'dick jokes' and 'jokes featuring dicks'?

tasteful, moody portraits
of cocks with googly eyes

putting the 'v' back in 'voyeurism'.
I forget why we took it out in the first place.

sooner or later, we're going to
have to stop calling them 'novels'

using drugs is bad,
even if you're just using them as a metaphor.

The internet- like a training camp for
never amounting to anything

I'm not saying you read too many webcomics,
just that it's possible to.

ships get called 'she'
but I bet torpedoes don't

I think 'erotica' just means
'porn that works for me'

flesh eating sea-birds:
can't live with them,
don't have to.

"don't forget the message"
...uh, no, wait. That wasn't the message.

I was an angry loner
before it was popular

If God hates masturbation so much,
he should give me a girlfriend.

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